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PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE UNVEILS NEW FASHION UNIFORM

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imageQuezon City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – In Hollywood, we have the fashion police. In the Philippines, the police are fashionable.

Today, the Philippine National Police (PNP) unveiled the new uniform that will be donned by all members of the police force. It is a design that combines several fashion ideas put forward by some of the country’s top designers, the same artists that design gowns for beauty pageant contestants, movie stars and political matrons.

In soliciting ideas for a new police uniform, PNP asked designers for ideas that would take into account the hot and humid temperature in most cities and towns in the Philippines, as well as the beer bellies characteristic of most police officers.

“The PNP pretty much concedes that many police officers are unable to shed off the extra pounds or shrink their mid-sections since accepting bribes or extorting money to help support their beer and appetizer addictions has become the norm,” a PNP spokesperson said.

The new design fulfills PNP’s requirements as it uses a cooler cotton material and lighter color while creating the illusion of flat bellies with its untucked design.

The lighter color also helps generate clearer closed circuit television (CCTV) photos and videos of police officers who try to extort money from innocent drivers or pedestrians.

 

 

 

 

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INDICTED PHILIPPINE SENATORS CHOOSE WHERE THEY PREFER TO BE JAILED

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L-R: Enrile, Estrada, Revilla
L-R: Enrile, Estrada, Revilla

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – All eyes are currently focused on the three Philippine senators who have been indicted for the non-bailable offense of plunder in connection with the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam. The three senators are Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla, Jr. Their arrest and detention are just days away, pending review of the charges by various courts to which their respective cases were assigned and raffled off.

Yesterday, the Office of the President issued a statement saying that each of the three senators can choose where they want to be jailed.

In an interview with The Adobo Chronicles, the three senators revealed their personal choices of where they want to be detained:

  • Enrile, now 90 years old, said he wants to be locked in at Golden Acres in Quezon City, a home for the elderly.
  • Estrada said he wants to be jailed at Manila’s City Hall, next to the office of his dad, Joseph Estrada who is the mayor of Manila.
  • Revilla said his preference is to be sequestered inside one of the recording studios of the television network ABS-CBN in Quezon City so he could continue to record songs and music videos like the one he unveiled during his privilege speech at the Senate Floor earlier this week.

Ah, the Philippines, bastion of freedom, Democracy and privilege!

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SPEAKER BOEHNER THANKS PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR CANTOR’S DEFEAT

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imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Is the Washington gridlock finally coming to an end?

In his first public comment on the primary election defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Speaker John Boehner thanked President Obama for his invaluable role in the victory of Tea Party-backed candidate Dave Brat.  Brat defeated incumbent Cantor in last week’s GOP primary elections in Virginia’s 7th congressional district.

In an unusual conciliatory tone, Boehner told reporters: “You have to understand, the American people are being squeezed by Obama’s policies. The economy is not growing. Incomes aren’t growing. We’re not creating enough jobs. And two-thirds of America have seen no increase in their wages but their food prices are going up, their gas prices are going up, and their health insurance prices are going up. And so there’s a lot of frustration that’s out there, and they look to Washington, and wonder why we can’t resolve these issues. And they’re hard to resolve when you’ve got a president who won’t engage.”

The teary-eyed Boehner concluded: “So, thank you, Mr. President. You have opened our eyes.  I look forward to working with you more closely in the final years of your presidency.”

End of gridlock.