Category Archives: Science and Environment

U.S. To Shut Down Guantanamo Bay, Will Move Detainees To ISP

GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – The United States has finally succumbed to pressure and demands from the international community that its detention center at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba — mostly housing suspected terrorists — be closed permanently.

Today, President Donald Trump authorized the padlocking of the detention center and the transfer of the prisoners to a newly-launched detention facility — in space.

Earlier, Trump signed a new measure creating a 6th branch of the U.S. military — the U.S. Space Force.

Apparently, part of the new measure has also authorized the launch of the ISP. No, it has nothing to do with Internet Service Providers.  Rather, it is an orbiting satellite known as the International Space Prison.  It will dock with the existing International Space Station.

The White House told The Adobo Chronicles  that it has taken this bold step as a means of ensuring that the human race will never be bothered again by the terrorists who will be given a one-way ticket to space.

All the current detainees at Guantanamo Bay will be transfered to the ISP which will be managed by the new U.S. Space Force.

Adobo Chronicles To Close Its Philippine Bureau in 2020

View of Manila, Philippines from the International Space Station

SAN JOSE, California (The Adobo Chonicles, San Jose Bureau) – Since 2013, The Adobo Chronicles (AC) has been reporting unbelievable news from its bureaus worldwide, including the Philippines.

But starting in 2020, the San Jose, Calfornia-based news outfit will say goodbye to its Philippine Bureau.

Its Philippine Bureau will be relocated to the Intenational Space Station.  AC will hold the distinction of the first news outlet to establish news operations in space.

The decision follows the signing by President Donald Trump of a new measure creating the 6th branch of the U.S. Military — the U.S. Space Force.

”Now that we are assured of a safe space for our news operations as a result of the creation of the U.S. Space Force, we are ready to explore the rest of the universe,” AC’s publisher said.

AC wil continue to report on Philippine developments but it will do so on a better perspective from above.  It will be able to monitor events not only in the Philippines but elsewhere on earth with the help of space technology.

Upon hearing of the AC announcement, Rappler CEO Maria Ressa reportedly  reprimanded her market development staff for not having the foresight to do what AC is now doing.  “We just lost the opportunity to be ahead of the curve.  Shall we remain on earth just holding the line?”  she told her board of directors and staff.

White House Unveils Uniform Of The New U.S. Space Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) –President Donald Trump has signed the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) for 2020 that establishes a U.S. Space Force as the sixth branch of the U.S. armed forces—despite the Outer Space Treaty designating space as a global commons to be used for peaceful purposes.

Trump signed the NDAA flanked by top defense and military officials at a ceremony at Joint Base Andrews, Maryland.

Immediately following the signing ceremony, The White House unveiled the official uniform of the members of the U.S. Space Force, saying that “This is no longer Hollywood.  This is for real.  This is the New United States of America.

White House sources also told The Adobo Chronicles that the Trump administration’s next step is to establish a satellite office of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) that will process the visas of foreign nationals venturing into  space.  It will be temporarily housed at the existing InternationalSpace Station.