WHITE HOUSE UNDERGOES DISINFECTION, EXORCISM!

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Hours after Donald Trump left, sources tell The Adobo Chronicles that The White House underwent an extensive disinfection in preparation for the arrival of its new occupant, President Joe Biden.

The disinfection was considered standard protocol, especially considering that the Trump family as well as key staff had tested positive for the coronavirus.

But in addition to the disinfection, the Presidential residence also went through exorcism to ensure that evil spirits are banished in time before Biden, a Catholic, moved in.

“We hope that all sources of possible infection as well as negativity were taken care of by the twin moves,” a White House spokesperson said.

Starting fresh…

Duterte Sues His Own Spox Harry Roque FOr Libel!

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Rappler CEO Maria Ressa no longer has the monopoly of libel suits. Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque is being sued for a similar crime — by no less than his own boss, Rodrigo Duterte.

The President instructed his Department of Justice to prepare the libel suit after an old video resurfaced on the Internet showing Roque calling then Mayor Duterte a “self-professed murderer” and urging his audience not to vote for him in the 2016 Presidential elections.

And it was all caught on tape. Exhibit A.


HOUSE APPROVES NEW FILIPINO WAY OF GREETING

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The Philippines’ House of Representatives has approved a bill institutionalizing a new Filipino way of greeting. This, in lieu of handshakes which could potentially spread the coronavirus.

The bill mandates not one, but two alternative greetings:

One is the “pabebe” hand wave popularized by famous celebrity pair AlDub. The other is the Miss Universe hand wave.

So, you can choose your fancy, but no more handshakes!

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