IATF Issues Guidelines For Opening Of Cinemas

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The Philippines is moving closer to the dawn of the “new normal” after proposals that the entire country be placed under Modified General Community Quarantine (MGCQ), the least restrictive of the government’s regulative policy aimed curbing the spread of Covid-19.

Among the proposed changes is to open up cinemas on the condition of controlled occupancy (physical distancing) and observance of, according to a Department of Health (DOH) officials, the wearing of face masks, no eating, no calls, and NO BATHROOM BREAKS!

In accordance with the DOH recommendation, the Inter-Agency Task Force on Emerging Infectious Diseases (IATF) issued Resolution 69-X that would require all movie patrons to bring their own portable urinals so that they wont’ have the need to use the cinema’s bathroom.

In anticipation of the opening of the cinemas and of the new IATF rules, online shopping portal Lazada is reporting that its supply of portable urinals has been depleted and is currently on back order.

Walmart Fires Its Chief Merchandiser!

DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles, Dallas Bureau) – Walmart, America’s largest employer outside of the government, has just fired its chief merchandiser for an incorrect entry in its most recent flyer promoting the sale price for Old Dutch Chips.

The flyer incorrectly stated the sale price for the chips at 4 bags for $10. Walmart said the correct price was 2 bags for $5.

The flyer didn’t state what the cost of just 1 or 3 bags would be.

Court Acquits Leila De Lima in One Of Three Cases, But Not Concubinage

MUNTINLUPA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – A Muntinlupa court on Wednesday, February 17, acquitted opposition Senator Leila de Lima in one of her 3 criminal charges.

But the court denied that the dismissed charge was for concubinage. Rather, it is one of 3 charges for conspiracy to commit drug trading.

De Lima had admitted to have had a romantic relationship with her bodyguard/driver Ronnie Dayan, a married man, citing “frailties of a woman.”

Dayan is a co-accused in one of the remaining charges against De Lima.

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