How Filipinos Can Avert War With China

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Chinese President Xi Jinping and Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte (Photo: New York Times)

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The news media have been focusing on China’s supposed threat to go to war with the Philippines should the latter pursue its claim over disputed territory in the South China Sea.

By sheer number, the Philippines is no match to China’s military power.  China has seven times the number of Filipino military personnel, not to mention the Chinese great advantage in as far as equipment like tanks, fighter aircraft, warships and submarines are concerned.

But Filipinos have an advantage over China 🇨🇳 when it comes to keyboard warriors.

IMG_1544It is estimated that almost half of the Philippine population is on Facebook, not to mention other social media accounts.

Here’s how Filipinos can avert a possible war with China:

  • Each of the 50 million or so Filipino Facebook account holders should send a minimum of 26 friend requests to the Chinese.  That would amount to a total of 1.3 Billion (the estimated population of China) Chinese friends.
  • If China decides to go to war with the Philippines, no Chinese would support it, not even its military since they all would have Facebook friends in the Philippines 🇵🇭.

Problem solved.

Long live the Filipino keyboard 🎹  warriors! Long live world peace!

(Well, if all else fails, Darna will come to the rescue):

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Billboards Considered Greatest Driver Distractions, Especially Those Featuring Kris Aquino

IMG_1543MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Lawmakers are considering suspending the implementation of the new Anti Driving Distraction Law which prohibits the use of mobile devices or the car window display of trinkets, including rosaries, that could impair the road view of motorists.

After receiving public feedback on the new law, Congress members now realize that the greater distraction for motorists are the advertising billboards that line the major thoroughfares of Metro Manila and other urban cities.

Motorists have complained that the biggest distraction are the billboards, especially those that feature Kris Aquino.

“Seeing Kris on the billboards just triggers the rise in my blood pressure,” said one jeepney driver.

Lawmakers realize that it will take some time before all billboards  can be taken down, so they agreed on starting with those that feature the retired talk show host and former presidential sister.

“We’ve got to start somewhere,” Senator Tito Sotto told The Adobo Chronicles.

Catholic Bishops Protest Rosary Ban In Car Windows

IMG_1534.JPGMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Amid the confusion that greeted the implementation of the Anti-Distracted Driving Act (ADDA), transportation officials reminded Filipino motorists that their “line of sight” should be clear not just of electronic gadgets but also rosaries, small figurines, trinkets, and other accessories that can hinder their view of the road.

Reacting to the rosary ban, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has called on all Catholics to gather at the Luneta this coming Sunday to protest what it is calling “government intrusion in religious affairs.”

CBCP President Aristotle Villegas reminded the government that there is a constitutional mandate for the separation of church and state.

“We’ve never ever meddled in the affairs of the government, so why should it meddle with ours,” Villegas said.

Perhaps this is just a case of amnesia on the part of the CBCP head?

 

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