MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – For decades now, the traffic problem along Metro Manila’s main throroughfare, EDSA, has all but become worse every single day.
Finally the Metroplitian Manila Development Authority (MMDA) has found a solution that would end this nightmare.
Effective September 1, 2018, MMDA will implement a new color-coding traffic scheme that would designate specific lanes to members of groups such as the Duterte Supporters (DDS), the Dilawan (Yellows), the LGBT and the heterosexual communities.
By segregating motorists from these communities, MMDA hopes to ease traffic on EDSA. Permanently.
Special care will be given to the lanes designated for DDS to ensure that they will be smooth-sailing throughout their commute, rush hour or not.
It pays to be a Duterte supporter!
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – It is estimated that 53.8% of Filipino males and 46.2% of Filipino females have never been married. That’s a huge population of singles in the country.
Now, singles are under attack in Metro Manila!
In a desperate attempt to finally solve the nightmarish traffic in the Metropolis, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) is proposing to ban single car drivers on EDSA during rush hours.
An MMDA spokesperson told The Adobo Chronicles that this brilliant plan will decongest Metro Manila’s main thoroughfare by almost 50%.
Why didn’t anybody think of this before?
Here’s to married bliss driving!
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Private vehicles with only one person inside will soon be prohibited during rush hours on EDSA as part of the traffic reduction solution of the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA).
Under the policy, set to be implemented this month, only vehicles with two or more passengers would have the privilege to traverse EDSA.
Soon after the new policy was announced, sales of mannequins rose by almost 100%, something that puzzled both the mannequin vendors and the MMDA.
Authorities cannot figure out what the mannequins will be used for. Can you?