MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Under the U.S. Constitution, Donald Trump has the power to grant Presidential pardons to individuals convicted of crimes. That has given Rappler CEO Maria Ressa much hope that she could be pardoned for her cyber libel conviction in the Philippines. Ressa is a dual citizen of the U.S. and the Philippines.
Informed sources told The Adobo Chronicles that Ressa is preparing a letter to Trump seeking Presidential pardon, citing her U.S. citizenship and one named by Time magazine as a Person of the Year, not to mention the many international awards she has received from various U.S. organizations. She is hoping the American President will act on her request in the next several weeks before President-elect Joe Biden is inaugurated on January 20, 2021.
QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Quezon City Bureau) – After being criticized and ridiculed for her empty public statements filled with “iyong,” “para sa akin,” and repetitive Tagalog clichés. Vice President Leni Robredo has hired a new speechwriter who is undoubtedly an expert in the English language, not to mention having a wide range of expertise in political issues.
The Office of the Vice President (OVP) said that with the new hire, Robredo’s scripted public statements will surely sound more intellectual, coherent and jaw-dropping. “This will definitely catapult her into a leading candidate in the 2022 Philippine Presidential elections,” a spokesperson (not the same speechwriter) for OVP said.
For starters, the new speechwriter which many suspect is an intern trying to finish a communication arts degree at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, issued the first “new and improved” Robredo statement:
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau)- Detained Philippine Senator Leila de Lima has retracted a congratulatory message she sent to U.S. President-elect Joe Biden. Her letter called Biden “a beacon for our own democracy” while comparing Donald Trump to Rodrigo Duterte.
Sources close to the Senator have confirmed that she is writing a letter to President Trump instead.
The Adobo Chronicles obtained a leaked copy of de Lima’s new letter which reads, in part:
“I am extremely shocked and saddened that the recent Presidential election was stolen from you, but I am confident that you will remain a powerful force in American and world politics, just like Rodrigo Duterte will remain a powerful force in Philippine and Asian region politics, unfortunately.”
She ends her letter with:
“Please keep me in mind as you continue with your Presidential pardons in the remaining weeks of your lame duck Presidency.”