Category Archives: Politics

Senator De Lima Demands Similar Amenities She Allowed For Prison Inmates

IMG_9975.PNGCAMP CRAME, Quezon City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – During Senator Leila De Lima’s tenure as Justice Secretary under the Aquino administration, inmates at the New Bilibid Prisons (NBP) had luxurious amenities and privileges.  They even conducted business — illegally —  from inside the high-security national penitentiary.

While De Lima’s jail cell inside Camp Crame is nowhere as cramped and crappy as in most prisons (see photo courtesy of The New York Times) she is now demanding special accommodations while awaiting the outcome of criminal charges filed against her.

In a handwritten note on official Senate stationery, De Lima listed her demands and appealed to the humanitarian side of President Rodrigo Duterte.

  • Airconditioning, especially with the current heatwave in Metro Manila
  • Waterbed, so that she can sleep more soundly and comfortably
  • A separate toilet and shower with bathtub like she’s used to when she was a free woman
  • Jacuzzi similar to that built by one of the drug lord inmates at NBP
  • Recording Studio. Everyone knows she likes to sing Karaoke
  • An adjacent gym so she can exercise daily to keep fit
  • A stove and oven combo. She likes to cook, especially saging na saba on a barbecue stick
  • A red iPhone 7 so she could talk to her attorneys and Senate colleagues on a daily basis
  • An iPad Pro so that she doesn’t have to waste Senate stationery.  She believes in recycling and protecting the environment
  • Wireless Internet to do research and Facebook Live
  • A weekly concert in Camp Crame featuring her favorite celebrities Jim Paredes, Cynthia Patag and Leah Navarro
  • A monthly escorted trip to Rustan’s in Makati so that she can shop for new neck scarves
  • An unlimited supply of potato chips and imported chocolates to snack on while drafting her daily press statements
  • A weekly conjugal, overnight visit, but she refused to name names
  • A twice-a-month facial treatment and full-body massage
  • Access to a hairdresser and fashion consultant so that she can look presentable when she does a Facebook Live.

“I don’t think all these are too much to ask,” she said.  Drug lord inmates had these privileges and more.  How much more for me, a senator?”

As of press time, PNP Chief General Bato has not responded to De Lima’s requests.


Caught On Tape: Conversation Between President Duterte And VP Robredo During The PNPA Commencement Ceremonies

IMG_9921.PNGSILANG, Cavite, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – President Rodrigo Duterte was the guest of honor and speaker at the 38th commencement exercises for the 2017 Masidlak class of the Philippine National Police Academy (PNPA) at Camp Gen. Mariano Castaneda, Silang, Cavite, today.

Vice President Leni Robredo, who has spent the last couple of weeks criticizing Duterte before local and international groups and the media, was also invited to the event.

The planned seating arrangement on stage was for another VIP guest to sit between Duterte and Robredo.  But as Robredo was about to take her assigned seat, Duterte himself moved the VP to sit right next to him.  Of course, Duterte can do anything he wants.  He is    also the Commander-in-Chief of the Philippine National Police.

The Adobo Chronicles planted a secret microphone underneath the President’s chair, and so we caught part of the conversation that happened between Duterte and Robredo.

Here’s a transcript:

Duterte: Good morning Madam. Dito rin pala kayo.

Robredo: Siyempre naman, Sir.  After all, ako ang VP.

Duterte: That’s true. Wala pa kasing decision ang Supreme Court sa election protest ni Bongbong Marcos.

Robredo: Sana naman, manalo ako sa kaso.

Duterte: Eh kumusta naman yung kasong gusto mong isampa laban sa akin sa United Nations.

Robredo: Naku Sir, hindi naman po ako ang may pakana niyan.

Duterte: Kung hindi ikaw, eh sino?

Robredo: Mahirap na hong magsalita.  Kasi I might incriminate myself.

Duterte: Kahit clue man lang?

Robredo: Sa atin atin na lang ito Sir, ha?  Clue: mga miyembro ng partidong kalaban niyo noong nakaraang eleksiyon.

Duterte: Eh di kasama ka doon?

Robredo:  Sir, promise to God, ginagamit lang ako nila.

Duterte: Eh saan kayo kumukuha ng pera para pondohan ang kampanya niyo laban sa akin?

Robredo: Kayo naman Sir, parang hindi niyo alam.   Siyempre si Loida Nicolas-Lewis.

Duterte: Uy, sorry nawala sa isip ko. Kulang kasi ako sa tulog eh. Kumusta naman ang laylayan?

Robredo: Hindi ko po alam ang latest, Sir. Kasi busy ako sa  kamo-model sa front page ng mga fashion magazines. Alam niyo na, para may trabaho naman ako pag na-impeach ako.

Duterte: Siyanga pala, bakit ba puro ka na lang  batikos sa akin sa media at social media? Halos araw araw, mayroong kang sinasabi laban sa akin!

Robredo: Sir, sa totoo lang. Wala akong kinalaman diyan.  Paki tanong niyo na lang kay Georgina Hernandez.

Duterte: Between you and me, totoo ba yung tsismis tungkol sa iyo at yung Congressman na bigotilyo?

(Conversation interrupted by announcement from the Master of Ceremonies)

Hawaii Seeks To Ban Donald Trump From Visiting The State


HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) – Don’t mess with Texas.  But don’t mess with Hawaii either!

Unnamed sources close to The Adobo Chronicles revealed a very serious plan by the Hawaii State Legislature to issue a travel ban against U.S. President Donald Trump.

The impending move follows a decision by a Hawaii federal court halting the implementation of Trump’s revised executive order imposing a travel ban on certain Muslim countries.

In retaliation, Trump supporters have launched an online campaign urging a boycott of the   Paradise state.  The campaign uses the hashtag #BoycottHawaii.

Well, a retaliation deserves a corresponding retaliation, hence the proposed travel ban against Trump.

In a draft joint resolution by the Hawaii upper and lower chambers which was leaked to AdoboChron, Trump will be barred from flying into any of the islands’ commercial and military airports.  If Trump manages to land in the islands, he will be taken into custody and jailed in a special maximum security prison cell built inside the Animal Quarantine facility in Aiea on Oahu.

As for Trump’s International Hotel in Waikiki, the state government is reportedly planning to sequester the property and put it up for sale to the highest bidder.  The bidding will be open to individuals and groups of all nationalities and religious faith — Japanese, Chinese, Arabs, Muslims, Christians, etc.