Category Archives: Government

Duterte, Robredo, ‘No Shows’ At Philippine Independence Day Rites

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – On the anniversary of Philippine Independence today, June 12, President Rodrigo was, again, a “no-show.”

In the last 4 years, Duterte has been known to skip significant public events, even the major national holidays and commemorations. But this time, it’s for good and justifiable reason.

Presidential Spokespersom Harry Roque said the President was “leading by example,”

Under the government’s Covid-19 community quarantine regulations, senior citizens — those 60 and above — are prohibited from leaving their homes except for strictly essential needs.  Duterte is 75 years old.

“It will be hypocritical of the President to order the isolation of seniors if he himself is seen out and about in public,” Roque told The Adobo Chronicles.

Meanwhile, Vice President Leni Robredo who in the past several years has been leading major commemoration rites at Rizal Park, was also a “no-show” this year. Many Filipinos were looking  forward to her trademark hand salute, but were grossly disappointed.

A spokesperson for the Office of the Vice President said that Robredo thought it wasn’t worth it to wake up early in the morning to make a public appearance with only 10 people in attendance.

The Inter-Agency Task Force (IATF) allowed only 10 people to join the celebration, as part of its social distancing protocol.

IATF To Quarantine Filipinos Aged 21-59

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Since the start of the Philippine governnment’s imposed community quarantine, Filipinos under 21 years old and senior citizens 60 and above have always been ordered to stay at home at all times. This, despite the subsequent easing down of the lockdowns from acronyms like ECQ to MECQ to GCQ to MGCQ.

Well, senior citizens are pushing back, arguing that they are being discriminated against based on their age, no matter that many of them are in prime health and are as strong as a bull.

Fearing serious backlash from its guidelines practically isolating seniors, the Inter-agency Task Force (IATF) in charge of promulgating Covid-19 policies, amended its latest resolution, turning the tables around.

For the remainder of the government lockdowns, the IATF is now ordering all Filipinos aged 21-59 to stay at home to give the chance to young people and senior citizens to also enjoy their freedom and Constitutional right of movement.

One senior citizen was overheard screaming, “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last.”

For seniors, no more GCQ. Just MLK!

Air Force One To Be Renamed Pegasus

WASHINGTON, D.C, (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – The White House has announced that Air Force One, the plane used by the president of the United States, will be renamed Pegasus, after the mythical winged divine horse which is one of the most recognized creatures in Greek mythology.

Why the change of heart?

Well, The Adobo Chronicles learned that Donald Trump was informed of a breaking news in the Philippines that Air Force One, Pegasus, and Heartbeat — three of the more popular nightclubs and karaoke lounges (KTV bars) in Metro Manila, have been closed for business, all victims of the continued lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Trump reportedly became suddenly attracted to the name Pegasus and so he directed his Armed Forces Chief of Staff to immediately implement the change.

Vice President Mike Spence, who is of course just a heartbeat away from the presidency, is now also considering changing the name of the vice presidential plane from Air Force Two to Heartbeat.