Category Archives: LGBT

CRISTIANO RONALDO’S STALKER IS AN IMPERSONATOR

imageRio de Janeiro, Brazil (The Adobo Chronicles) – The topless stalker who welcomed Cristiano Ronaldo to Portugal’s base camp at the World Cup turned out to be an impersonator.

The stalker, Brazilian former ‘Miss Bumbum’ beauty contest winner Andressa Urach, has claimed in the past to have had an affair with Ronaldo – strenuously denied by the player. Six days later she was ejected from Portugal’s public training session at Ponte Preta’s Moises Lucarelli stadium and told to stay away from the Real Madrid star.

Well, it turns out that ‘Miss Bumbum’ was actually a former beauty pageant winner in “Miss Bon Bon,” a crossdressing competition for men in Rio de Janeiro.

Ronaldo is the most famous soccer player in the World Cup. He is both FIFA’s World Cup Best Player and an Armani underwear model.

 

SAN FRANCISCO ARCHBISHOP CORDILEONE COMES OUT

Cordileone
Cordileone

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – In a development that has stunned the Catholic community of San Francisco and the rest of the nation, San Francisco’s Roman Catholic Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone has decided to come out.

Cordileone is coming out to the nation’s capital to address a march against marriage equality happening this Thursday.

No further statement is available from Cordileone or the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

SPEAKER BOEHNER THANKS PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR CANTOR’S DEFEAT

imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Is the Washington gridlock finally coming to an end?

In his first public comment on the primary election defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Speaker John Boehner thanked President Obama for his invaluable role in the victory of Tea Party-backed candidate Dave Brat.  Brat defeated incumbent Cantor in last week’s GOP primary elections in Virginia’s 7th congressional district.

In an unusual conciliatory tone, Boehner told reporters: “You have to understand, the American people are being squeezed by Obama’s policies. The economy is not growing. Incomes aren’t growing. We’re not creating enough jobs. And two-thirds of America have seen no increase in their wages but their food prices are going up, their gas prices are going up, and their health insurance prices are going up. And so there’s a lot of frustration that’s out there, and they look to Washington, and wonder why we can’t resolve these issues. And they’re hard to resolve when you’ve got a president who won’t engage.”

The teary-eyed Boehner concluded: “So, thank you, Mr. President. You have opened our eyes.  I look forward to working with you more closely in the final years of your presidency.”

End of gridlock.