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INDICTED PHILIPPINE SENATORS CHOOSE WHERE THEY PREFER TO BE JAILED

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L-R: Enrile, Estrada, Revilla
L-R: Enrile, Estrada, Revilla

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – All eyes are currently focused on the three Philippine senators who have been indicted for the non-bailable offense of plunder in connection with the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam. The three senators are Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla, Jr. Their arrest and detention are just days away, pending review of the charges by various courts to which their respective cases were assigned and raffled off.

Yesterday, the Office of the President issued a statement saying that each of the three senators can choose where they want to be jailed.

In an interview with The Adobo Chronicles, the three senators revealed their personal choices of where they want to be detained:

  • Enrile, now 90 years old, said he wants to be locked in at Golden Acres in Quezon City, a home for the elderly.
  • Estrada said he wants to be jailed at Manila’s City Hall, next to the office of his dad, Joseph Estrada who is the mayor of Manila.
  • Revilla said his preference is to be sequestered inside one of the recording studios of the television network ABS-CBN in Quezon City so he could continue to record songs and music videos like the one he unveiled during his privilege speech at the Senate Floor earlier this week.

Ah, the Philippines, bastion of freedom, Democracy and privilege!

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SPEAKER BOEHNER THANKS PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR CANTOR’S DEFEAT

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imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Is the Washington gridlock finally coming to an end?

In his first public comment on the primary election defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Speaker John Boehner thanked President Obama for his invaluable role in the victory of Tea Party-backed candidate Dave Brat.  Brat defeated incumbent Cantor in last week’s GOP primary elections in Virginia’s 7th congressional district.

In an unusual conciliatory tone, Boehner told reporters: “You have to understand, the American people are being squeezed by Obama’s policies. The economy is not growing. Incomes aren’t growing. We’re not creating enough jobs. And two-thirds of America have seen no increase in their wages but their food prices are going up, their gas prices are going up, and their health insurance prices are going up. And so there’s a lot of frustration that’s out there, and they look to Washington, and wonder why we can’t resolve these issues. And they’re hard to resolve when you’ve got a president who won’t engage.”

The teary-eyed Boehner concluded: “So, thank you, Mr. President. You have opened our eyes.  I look forward to working with you more closely in the final years of your presidency.”

End of gridlock.

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TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY ADMITS HE HAS THE HOMOSEXUAL GENES

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imageSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Texas Governor and former presidential candidate Rick Perry has just endeared himself to the homosexual community.

In a speech before members of the Commonweath Club of California, Perry admitted that in the same way he has the genetic makeup to become an alcoholic, he also has the genes to become a latent homosexual. Perry’s comments all but confirm his belief that the gay lifestyle is not a choice.

“I (may) have the genetic coding (that I’m inclined) to be an alcoholic, but (and) I have the desire  not  to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” Perry said in his San Francisco speech. The governor however refused to reveal a timeline in which he will act upon his gay genes.

The Log Cabin Republicans, the lgbt group within the GOP, immediately praised Perry and vowed to fully endorse his candidacy should he decide again to run for president in 2016.

The San Francisco Pride Committee convened an emergency meeting last night and unanimously voted to make Perry an honorary grand marshall at this month’s pride parade and celebration.