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PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE UNVEILS NEW FASHION UNIFORM

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imageQuezon City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – In Hollywood, we have the fashion police. In the Philippines, the police are fashionable.

Today, the Philippine National Police (PNP) unveiled the new uniform that will be donned by all members of the police force. It is a design that combines several fashion ideas put forward by some of the country’s top designers, the same artists that design gowns for beauty pageant contestants, movie stars and political matrons.

In soliciting ideas for a new police uniform, PNP asked designers for ideas that would take into account the hot and humid temperature in most cities and towns in the Philippines, as well as the beer bellies characteristic of most police officers.

“The PNP pretty much concedes that many police officers are unable to shed off the extra pounds or shrink their mid-sections since accepting bribes or extorting money to help support their beer and appetizer addictions has become the norm,” a PNP spokesperson said.

The new design fulfills PNP’s requirements as it uses a cooler cotton material and lighter color while creating the illusion of flat bellies with its untucked design.

The lighter color also helps generate clearer closed circuit television (CCTV) photos and videos of police officers who try to extort money from innocent drivers or pedestrians.

 

 

 

 

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CATHOLIC CHURCH IN THE PHILIPPINES MANDATES METAL DETECTORS, SECURITY CHECKS AT WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS

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IMG_3547Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Everyone who lives in, or has visited Manila and other parts of the Philippines knows that metal detectors and security checkpoints are all too common in hotels, government buildings and shopping malls.  It has become a way of life post 9-11.  But wait, metal detectors and security checks in Catholic churches too?

Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle on Saturday warned wedding couples and their guests to be wary of strangers posing as a relatives or friends from one side or the other of the newly united family. They are actually thieves.

Tagle said these shady characters usually strike during photo sessions following the church ceremony. “When family members of the bride or groom are invited to pose for photographs with the newly-wedded couple, they tend to leave their purses and belongings in the church pews,” Tagle said.  “When they return to their seats, everything’s gone.”

Nuptials are not the only target of these wedding crashers, they also victimize people attending church funerals, according to Tagle.

In a move designed to protect its church-going constituents, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has required all churches and parishes in the country to install metal detectors and implement security checks to weed out wedding and funeral crashers.  CBCP also advised especially women to keep their cash and credit cards in their bras, as is the old custom among elderly women in the Philippines. “They’re safer there than inside their bags and purses,” the bishops said.

 

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PHILIPPINES RUNNING OUT OF JAIL SPACE FOR THOSE INDICTED UNDER THE PORK BARREL SCAM

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The refurbished "bungalow jails" at Camp Crame in Quezon City
The refurbished “bungalow jails” at Camp Crame in Quezon City

Quezon City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – With hundreds facing jail time in connection with the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam, the Philippines is facing an acute shortage of jail cells and detention facilities, it was announced today.  In addition to the three senators and their associates who have recently been indicted of plunder and other crimes, many more are expected to be named by the Ombudsman for their involvement in the elaborate scheme to siphon taxpayer money into ghost projects and the pockets of politicians that include other senators, congressmen and Aquino administration officials. Rumor has it that more than half of sitting senators and over a hundred congressmen have been implicated in the scam by suspected mastermind Janet Lim-Napoles.

The announcement of the jail shortage was made  as media reporters were shown the refurbished bungalows inside Camp Crame which will serve as detention facilities for Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla, Jr. — all of whom were indicted for non-bailable plunder in connection withe pork barrel scam.  Camp Crame is the headquarters of the Philippine National Police and is located along EDSA — the boulevard that was the center of the people’s power revolution that ousted the late dictator Ferdinand E. Marcos.

As a way of dealing with the jail shortage, Justice Secretary Leila de Lima ordered the sequestration of the condominiums owned by Napoles. The windows and doors of the condo units will be fitted with iron bars, and door locks will be replaced with heavy bolts.  They will be emptied of all furniture except for a banig (straw mat) to serve as sleeping mat and airconditioning in the units will be totally disconnected.

As to who will be detained in these “condo jails,” de Lima said that the decision will be left to the courts.  However, de Lima added that due to a conflict of interest, Napoles will not be eligible for detention in her own condo. Napoles is currently in detention at another “bungalow jail’ at Fort Sto. Domingo, a police camp in Santa Rosa, Laguna, south of Manila.