Tag Archives: Tourism

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEED UPON LANDING AT NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The murdered Filipino opposition leader must be turning and twisting in his grave as the international airport named after him has gained the reputation as the worst in the world. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has been the subject of ridicule in recent months not only for overcrowding, confusing signage or lack thereof, clueless airport personnel, and most of all, non-functioning airconditioning units.

As of press time, new airconditioning units  have reportedly arrived but it is no guarantee that incoming and outgoing passengers will keep their cool.

As a stop-gap measure, the Philippines’ Airports Authority issued a travel advisory recommending the top ten things traveling passengers will need upon disembarkation:

1. Anahaw (wicker) fans. They’re relatively inexpensive. Foreigners can easily borrow these from their Filipino friends and neighbors. They are also sold at NAIA concession stands.

2. If you want to go high tech, you can purchase battery-operated personal fans from almost every mall in America and elsewhere.

3. Cotton towel, to wipe your sweat and keep you dry at all times, especially while in line at the immigration, customs and baggage claim areas.

4. Plastic spray bottle. Make sure to fill it up with water before de-planing. You will need to squirt some mist on your face every minute or so.

5. Deodorant. Be courteous to your fellow incoming passengers.

6. Perfume. Make it a Prada. Filipinos love designer stuff

7. Face mask. It will not only protect you from airborne viruses, but from the stench of sweat all around you.

8. Bikini top for women. Think of it as entering a dry sauna.  And make it Victoria’s Secret. Filipinos love designer stuff.

9. Bikini bottom for men. Make it Calvin Klein. Filipinos love designer stuff.

10. Ice-cold bottled water. Not just any bottled water. Make it a Fiji. Did we already mention Filipinos love designer stuff?

Mabuhay! Welcome to Manila, you know, the place novelist Dan Brown calls “the gates of hell.”

SAN FRANCISCO TO STRAIGHTEN CROOKEDEST STREET

Sam Francisco's Crookedest Street
Sam Francisco’s Crookedest Street

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – A visit to San Francisco is never complete without photo opportunities by the Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower, TransAmerica Building, Alcatraz, Fisherman’s Wharf and of course, The Crookedest Street.

The famed Lombard Street section is famous for having a steep, one-block stretch that consists of eight tight hairpin turns. On either side of the street are homes that are probably among the top prized real estate in the City by the Bay.

Starting this summer, the city will close the street to weekend vehicular traffic in what it is calling an “experiment” to reduce congestion in the area and to provide the millionaire home owners a reprieve from the unending stream of vehicles navigating the brick pavement for the experience of a lifetime. (Apparently, many have not heard of Zigzag Road in the Philippines, leading up to the mountain city of Baguio).

Baguio City's Zigzag Road, Philippines
Baguio City’s Zigzag Road, Philippines

The Adobo Chronicles has obtained leaked documents from San Francisco’s City Hall that indicate the ‘experiment’ is actually a precursor to a more permanent plan to straighten the street to make room for homeowners to expand their existing real estate property. The city is poised to earn millions of dollars by selling part of the city street to the homeowners.

The documents also reveal an alternative plan – if the sale doesn’t work out – for the city to establish a toll gate at the top of the one-way street and charge each non-resident vehicle $10 to traverse the world’s crookedest street.

This plan could be up for a public vote as early as the next local elections.

Crooked or straight? Voters will decide. It could boil down to how straight and gay voters decide!