MANILA AIMS TO BECOME THE FERRY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

imageManila, Philippines – From Chicago to San Francisco, from Hong Kong to Venice, water ferries are a popular mode of transportation for both business and pleasure. Manila wants to be known as the ferry capital of the world and is working very hard to earn that distinction.

This week, the Manila Metropolitan Development Authority (MMDA) unveiled a prototype ferry that would transport passengers from one end of the polluted Pasig River to the other, and it is living up to the Philippine tourism meme of “It’s More Fun In the Philippines.”

The prototype ferry consists of a steel barge lined with used rubber tires and on it sits a yellow dilapidated mini-bus that once traversed the traffic-ridden streets of the Philippine metropolis.  “The Pasig River ferry boat will be like no other in the world,” and MMDA official said. “It is not only a ferry boat, it is also a bus,” he added.

The new ferry boats will start operating sometime in April this year and passengers will be charged 80 Pesos (roughly $2) each way.

Instead of life jackets, passengers will be handed disposable face masks in order to protect them from the stench of the polluted river.

Responding to media questions, MMDA said that the new ferry system will not contribute to further polluting the river since the boats will not be using regular gasoline to operate.  Instead, the boats will run on lambanog, a popular local wine made from coconut.  Because of its potency, the lambanog “fuel” has the potential to kill bacteria and viruses that may be clinging to debris floating in the river. “Quite ingenious,” commented one Manila commuter who says he is so sick of the daily traffic gridlock.

MMDA said there will be 5 ferries operating, each with a capacity of 40 passengers. This means a potential of 200 less commuters on Manila’s overcrowded buses and jeepneys each time the ferries run.

EDITED SCENE FROM DISNEY’S ‘FROZEN’ SURFACES

imageHollywood, California (EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) – In the Disney animated film, ‘Frozen,’ Queen Elsa is seen singing the Oscar Award-winning song ‘Let It Go’ atop a mountain as she builds her ice castle in which she was to live her life in isolation.

Most moviegoers believe she was singing the song to herself with an admonition to let go of everything she had, including her beloved sister Anna and her entire kingdom.

But that was not in the original script.

The Adobo Chronicles has just obtained a copy of the deleted scene which had the original segment of ‘Let It Go.” It appears that the film director opted to re-shoot the segment to what is now included in the film’s final cut.

In the deleted scene, Queen Elsa  encountered a wood frog, freezing almost to death and clinging to a tree branch.  The frog was so afraid about falling into the snow-covered ground. Apparently, Queen Elsa was singing the song not to herself but to the wood frog, telling it to let go and that it would be just fine if it did fall to the ground.

The original script’s message about the deleted scene was: people (and frogs) need to let go of their fears and not to be scared about venturing into unchartered territory.

Disney refused to comment on why it decided to edit out and replace the deleted scene.  It simply responded to our reporter with, “Let It Go!”

PHILIPPINE SENATE RENAMES PORK BARREL HEARINGS TO ‘SPAM TOCINO HEARINGS’

imageManila, Philippines –  Pork barrel has become a universally-accepted term for discretionary funds allocated to politicians to use for their local pet projects. But the term has a very bad reputation in the Philippines, thanks to a 10 Billion-peso scam that siphoned taxpayer money into fake non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and into the personal accounts of some business people and politicians.

The Philippine Senate is currently holding hearings to look into the alleged involvement of some of its members – Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Ramon Revilla, Jr. It has cast a not -so-favorable image for the entire Senate.

So, in an attempt to diffuse  the negative image brought forth by the pork barrel scandal, the Senate unanimously agreed to rename the Senate investigation to “Spam Tocino Hearings.” The idea came from Hormel Foods, U.S. manufacturer of Spam . Hormel recently came up with a limited edition of  its popular canned meat, capitalizing on the popular Filipino cured pork called tocino. 

Senate officials said that renaming the hearings would give their investigation some “stateside” flavor while promoting the ever popular Filipino breakfast fare tocino.

Filipino activists immediately criticized the Senate move, accusing the senators of whitewashing the investigation while perpetuating Filipino colonial mentality.

Incidentally, Spam Tocino is available on the Hormel Foods website for $3.00 a can plus shipping. Hormel can only ship to U.S. addresses.

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