Category Archives: Religion

AQUINO STARTS A NEW PHILIPPINE PRESIDENTIAL EASTER TRADITION: BALUT HUNT

Balut
Balut

Manila, Philippines –  In the U.S., the First Family will host the 136th annual White House Easter Egg Roll on April 21 which is expected to draw 30,000 people to the South Lawn of the presidential residence. Those in luck will be able to take home keepsake eggs in bold colors stamped with the signatures of President and Mrs. Barack Obama.

In the Philippines, President Noynoy Aquino, in his bid to bring Malacañang Palace (the presidential residence) closer to the people, has announced the first ever “balut hunt” this coming Easter Sunday. He hopes to make this an annual tradition even among his presidential successors. This new tradition, cooked up by Aquino’s brilliant press office staff, will feature a hunt for red, white, blue and yellow- painted balut with Aquino’s thumb print on them, hidden in the unkempt lawn of the palace.  Those are the colors of the Philippine flag. The event will be open to a maximum of 1,000 children of families who must pay a registration fee of One Hundred Thousand Pesos (in excess of $2,000) per attendee.

The deadline for registration has been set for April 18, Good Friday. No checks or credit cards accepted. Cash only.

Balut is a Filipino delicacy of boiled duck embryo (see photo).

PHILIPPINE SENATOR BONG REVILLA A CHANGED MAN AFTER HOLY LAND ENCOUNTER

Revilla
Revilla

Tel Aviv, Israel – As the Office of the Philippine Ombudsman prepared to indict three senators for their alleged role in the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam, most Filipinos went about their usual traditional Lenten season rituals – fasting, abstaining from meat, visiting churches, praying the rosary, going through the stations of the cross (via crucis) and giving alms to the poor. There is much anticipation for Easter Sunday, which Catholics know to be the day that Jesus Christ resurrected following his death on the Cross.

The three senators – Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla – are about to face plunder and graft charges for allegedly pocketing their pork barrel funds in an elaborate scheme supposedly masterminded by businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles who is now in detention.

Senator Revilla is on a different level of Lenten tradition, one that  low to medium-income people don’t usually get the chance to experience. Revilla, his wife and children, are in the Holy Land on a religious pilgrimage to what is believed to be the birthplace of Jesus.

In a skype call with Revilla’s wife, Cavite Representative Lani Mercado-Revilla, she indicated that  immediately upon their arrival in Jerusalem, she saw a transformation with the Senator. “His physical appearance and demeanor totally changed. He seemed like he was at peace,  like he just came out of the confessional box. In fact, throughout our flight from Manila to Tel Aviv, Bong was very calm and kept on listening to a video recording of “My Way,” sung by Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver and winner of the first “X Factor Israel.”

Mrs.Revilla denied that the family was planning to seek political asylum in Israel, adding: “when we return to the Philippines after the pilgrimage, Bong will make an important announcement.” She didn’t say whether that announcement would be “guilty” or “not guilty.”

Meanwhile, Senators Enrile and Estrada, appear to be observing the Lenten season in solitary confinement in their respective mansions, perhaps praying for divine intervention.

 

TIMOTHY BRADLEY ACCUSES MANNY PACQUIAO’S MOM OF VOODOOISM

Mommy D Pacquiao
Mommy D Pacquiao

Las Vegas, Nevada – Manny Pacquiao won a 12-round unanimous decision over Timothy Bradley on Saturday to avenge his controversial 2012 loss to the previously unbeaten American. But that was not the big news.

Moments after losing the WBO welterweight crown to the Filipino boxer and congressman, Bradley accused Pacquiao’s mom Dionisia, popularly known as Mommy D, of voodooism. Bradley claims that Mommy D cast some witchcraft on him, causing him to be disoriented in the last few rounds of the title fight at the MGM arena in Las Vegas.Mommy D was caught on camera, clutching a rosary and a tiny missalette, uttering unintelligible words while pointing at the American boxer.

It is believed that witchcraft is still practiced in parts of the Philippines and there still exist some occasional witches, locally known as mangkukulam.

The Pacquiao camp, however, simply dismissed Bradley’s accusation as “sour grapes.”