Tokyo, Japan – Noting that Metro Manila’s traffic, infrastructure and housing problems can no longer be solved by the Philippines’ National Capital Region, Japan has offered to buy Metro Manila for $57 Billion.
The Japanese government, acting on a report by the Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA), made the offer to Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada and Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay. By purchasing Metro Manila, Japan hopes to implement JICA’s “Dream Plan” to solve once and for all Metro Manila’s decades-old woes.
The dream plan seeks to achieve by 2030, the five “No’s” considered to be the ultimate key to the revival of the dying metropolis : no traffic congestion, no excessive transport cost burden for low-income groups, no households living in high hazard risk areas, no barriers for seamless mobility of people and no air pollution.
Under the purchase proposal, Metro Manila will become a Prefecture of Japan and both the local and national governments of the Philippines will totally give up ownership and control of Metro Manila which consists of 17 cities and towns.
The only remaining obstacle to the proposed purchase is to determine how the $57 Billion will be divided among Philippine President Noynoy Aquino, Estrada, Binay and the rest of the mayors of the cities and towns of the metropolis.
Washington, D.C. – Every year around Thanksgiving, the President of the United States pardons a turkey, sparing it from being killed, roasted and served on the holiday dinner table. The White House tradition was instituted by then President George H.W. Bush in 1989, although many believe Harry Truman was technically the first president to pardon a turkey.
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