Tag Archives: President Aquino

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO CAUSES TRAFFIC NIGHTMARE IN SAN FRANCISCO’S HAIGHT-ASHBURY

September 25, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Aquino at the Haight, left, with his entourage of SFPD motorcycle cops

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino, on his last U.S. stop before returning to Manila after attending the U.N. Summit on Climate Change, decided he wanted a hamburger. Not a Jollibee burger. A McDonald’s burger.

He chose the McDonald’s store in San Francisco’s famous Haight-Ashbury district, home to beads, bangles, psychedelic t-shirts, flower power and weed.

Because he is a head of state, the San Francisco Police Department provided a whole battalion of motorcycle cops to escort Aquino as he and his entourage navigated the narrow streets of the Haight. Streets and alleys surrounding McDonald’s were blocked causing a nightmarish traffic jam and lots of frayed nerves among motorists.

The Adobo Chronicles caught up with Aquino as he went into the nearby Amoeba bookstore to browse some jazz CDs. Informed about the traffic mess he had created, Aquino dismissed the criticism, saying that much worse traffic is a daily occurrence in his country, especially in Metro Manila. “San Franciscans should just shut the f**k up when they experience a little standstill in the streets,” he said.

Asked why he chose to eat at McDonald’s instead of the Filipino fast food joint Jollibee, Aquino said he already eats Jollibee chicken joy and sweet spaghetti every day in Manila. “I wanted to try an authentic American burger.” When told there are McDonald’s stores in the Philippines, Aquino said, “Really? I had no clue!”

Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Religion, The Media

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO GRANTS ABSOLUTE PARDON ON PORK BARREL SCAM

May 21, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

Manila, Philippines. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The pork barrel scandal that has gripped the Philippines and elevated corruption to unprecedented levels may finally come to an end.

The scandal involves the alleged siphoning of ten billion pesos of taxpayer money into the coffers of businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles , ghost nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) and politicians.

First, it was the senators that were implicated in the scandal (more than half of sitting senators), then top Aquino administration officials, then current and past congressmen (more than 150 of them), then journalists, and finally the National Bureau of Investigation and the Departme of Justice. That leaves the Catholic bishops the only ones unscathed.

But wait, previous news reports have long associated the Catholic church with Napoles, including the reported transfer of the famed Black Nazarene statue at the Quiapo Catholic Church to her residence for some private occasion.

Seeing as how no one is left who is not implicated in the scam, President Noynoy Aquino today announced that he has issued an executive order granting absolute pardon to all who have been involved in the pork barrel scandal. “This will allow our country to start fresh and rise from all this embarrassment and negativity,” Aquino said. He added, “it is time for us to build a new society.”

Ironically, ‘new society’ translates to ‘bagong lipunan,” a mantra used by the late President Ferdinand Marcos soon after he declared Martial Law that sealed his decades long dictatorial rule of this U.S. ally country.

International, Politics, Sports, Technology

AQUINO ADMINISTRATION ON OLYMPIAN MICHAEL MARTINEZ’S REQUEST FOR FINANCIAL HELP: ‘WE DO NOT OPEN SPAM’

February 18, 2014 Pol Pinoy 3 Comments

Manila, Philippines – The administration of Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino continues to go on the defensive as more and more people have criticized the government’s zero financial support for Filipino figure skater Michael Christian Martinez. The lone Filipino athlete in the Sochi Winter Olympics made an impressive Olympic debut last week, finishing 19th out of 24 skaters. He is the first Filipino and Southeast Asian to qualify for the Olympic figure skating competition.

Martinez’s mother said that she had sent Malacañang, the Philippine Presidential Palace, a request for help to finance her son’s participation in the Olympics but never received a response.

Today, presidential spokesperson Herminio Coloma said that the request “may have come into Malacañang as ‘spam,’ and that per our policy, we do not open spams. We receive hundreds and hundreds of requests, gifts and what have you, including imported cans of SPAM, but for security reasons we never open canned goods or other wrapped gifts.”