Manila, Philippines – From Chicago to San Francisco, from Hong Kong to Venice, water ferries are a popular mode of transportation for both business and pleasure. Manila wants to be known as the ferry capital of the world and is working very hard to earn that distinction.
This week, the Manila Metropolitan Development Authority (MMDA) unveiled a prototype ferry that would transport passengers from one end of the polluted Pasig River to the other, and it is living up to the Philippine tourism meme of “It’s More Fun In the Philippines.”
The prototype ferry consists of a steel barge lined with used rubber tires and on it sits a yellow dilapidated mini-bus that once traversed the traffic-ridden streets of the Philippine metropolis. “The Pasig River ferry boat will be like no other in the world,” and MMDA official said. “It is not only a ferry boat, it is also a bus,” he added.
The new ferry boats will start operating sometime in April this year and passengers will be charged 80 Pesos (roughly $2) each way.
Instead of life jackets, passengers will be handed disposable face masks in order to protect them from the stench of the polluted river.
Responding to media questions, MMDA said that the new ferry system will not contribute to further polluting the river since the boats will not be using regular gasoline to operate. Instead, the boats will run on lambanog, a popular local wine made from coconut. Because of its potency, the lambanog “fuel” has the potential to kill bacteria and viruses that may be clinging to debris floating in the river. “Quite ingenious,” commented one Manila commuter who says he is so sick of the daily traffic gridlock.
MMDA said there will be 5 ferries operating, each with a capacity of 40 passengers. This means a potential of 200 less commuters on Manila’s overcrowded buses and jeepneys each time the ferries run.
Quezon City Philippines – When the 2014 Bb. Pilipinas (Miss Philippines) beauty pageant concludes on March 30 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City, only one candidate will be declared the winner and will be wearing four crowns.
Bb. Pilipinas Charities, franchise holder of the four-in-one pageant, announced a major change in choosing the Philippines’ representative to international pageants. Traditionally, the contest ends in four beauties being crowned Miss Universe Philippines, Bb. Pilipinas International, Bb. Pilipinas Supranational and Bb. Pilipinas Tourism Queen, respectively. This year, however, only one candidate will be crowned for all four titles.
Pageant organizers said this new regulation will increase the Philippines’ chances of winning the much-coveted international beauty crowns. Sending the same candidate to the four international pageants will increase the Filipina candidate’s exposure in world media while boosting her experience and confidence on the pageant stage every single time.
What happens if Miss Philippines wins the crown in the first scheduled international competition? Then the first runner-up in the Miss Philippines pageant will take over and represent the country in the next three international pageants. If she wins the crown in the second pageant, then the second runner-up takes over, and so on.
“What a brilliant idea,” a beauty pageant fanatic commented, “after all there can truly be only one queen, not four.”
Manila, Philippines – The next Philippine presidential election will not happen until 2016 but already, incumbent Vice President Jejomar “Jojo” Binay has made clear his intention to run for the top position in this nation of almost 100 Million people.
In fact, Binay has already finalized his campaign meme which he will officially launch in June this year. The meme? “Bring the government closer to the people, but away from the maddening crowd (read: Manila’s traffic nightmare).
Pressed by The Adobo Chronicles to provide a concrete example on how he plans to pursue this campaign promise, Binay said that his first official act as president would be to transfer Malacañang, the official residence of the Philippine president, from its current location in Manila to Boracay Resort in Central Philippines.
Boracay is a world-famous beach town considered one of the best, if not the best in the world. Few beaches can compare to Boracay’s immaculate white sand.
Binay said Boracay makes the most sense as the center of government because it is in the center of the Philippines. He added that Boracay is traffic-free and would enable the president to move around efficiently without the need for “wang wang.” “Wang wang” is the term used by Filipinos to refer to sirens used by government officials in their limousines to help get through congested traffic.
Binay also said that Boracay is the ideal place for the president to host foreign leaders and dignitaries because of its breath-taking views and world-class accommodations. The vice president is finalizing plans to build an international airport in Boracay to be named “The Binay Family International Airport.”
Binay’s political dynasty includes son Junjun who is mayor of Makati City and daughters Nancy and Abigail, senator and congresswoman, respectively.