Category Archives: Travel

CNN CONFIRMS: GOD STOLE MISSING MALAYSIA AIRLINES PLANE

Students watch as artists finish a school-ground painting inspired by the missing Malaysia Airlines plane in the Philippine city of Makati.  (Photo: Romeo Ranoco/Reuters)
Students watch as artists finish a school-ground painting inspired by the missing Malaysia Airlines plane in the Philippine city of Makati.
(Photo: Romeo Ranoco/Reuters)

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – With reports that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 with 239 people on board might have flown for six and a half hours after its transponder stopped sending signals on March 8, the search for the missing Boeing 777-200ER has expanded to a vast area stretching from the Indian Ocean to as far north as Kazakhstan.

Malaysian authorities have not ruled out any theories – from mechanical problems and pilot error to hijacking and pilot suicide.  But they seemed to have missed one possible cause of the plane’s disappearance. 

It took anchors and analysts from a respected U.S. news cable network to state the obvious: God may have stolen the plane.

The anchors and analysts bandied about the idea Sunday afternoon that something “beyond our understanding” happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that “something” being perhaps supernatural maybe?

“Especially today, on a day when we deal with the supernatural,” the anchor said. “We go to church, the supernatural power of God…people are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?”

What is surprising to television viewers is that the cable news network was not Fox News. It was CNN. The Anchor? Don Lemon.

SHORTAGE OF IRISH BEER IN THE U.S. REPORTED

imageBoston, Massachusetts – From Boston to New York, from San Francisco to Indianapolis, Irish pubs are reporting a mysterious disappearance of popular brands of Irish beer. It doesn’t bode well for the country’s Irish American population, especially with the upcoming St. Patrick’s day observance on Monday, March 17. What would St. Pat’s day be without Irish beer?

Suppliers have said that their inventory of  Irish beer has never reached such a low level, saying their orders from manufacturers have been backlogged for several weeks now.

An investigation by reporters of The Adobo Chronicles has uncovered an unusually huge purchase of Irish beer brands by a famed company in St. Louis, Missouri – Budweiser. Our reporters obtained a confidential memo from Budweiser high officials directing their purchasing department to buy and hoard as much Irish beer as possible. The memo said: “Our marketing goal this coming St. Patrick’s Day is to create an artificial shortage of Irish beer so that beer drinkers will have no choice but to consume Budweiser beer.”

St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S. is credited with the highest beer consumption at any time in any given year.

It is estimated that almost 12% of the U.S. population is of Irish or part Irish heritage which makes the Irish American population greater than the actual Irish population in Ireland.

So on Monday, be prepared to be pinched by old ladies for not wearing something green, and to drink Budweiser in place of Guinness or other Irish beer brands.

PHILIPPINE MAYOR PLANS TICKER TAPE PARADE TO CELEBRATE HIS CITY’S SELFIE WORLD RECORD.

imageMakati City, Philippines – Makati is known as the Wall Street of the Philippines , a financial hub where towering offices, hotels and condos dwarf the squatter shanties just a stone’s throw away. It is also known for its feisty mayor Junjun Binay, son of the incumbent vice president and brother to two other Binays, a senator and a congresswoman.

Mayor Binay was recently embroiled in a controversy where he tried to bully his way into a private upscale residential village because he wanted a shorter, traffic- free route to his destination. When the village security guards refused passage to the mayor’s convoy, he made sure the security guards were “invited” to the local police precint for questioning.

But that controversy is gone now and the mayor is buoyed up by news that Makati has achieved a prestigious world record – the number one spot in fact – which he attributes to his administration. Makati has just been named top ‘selfie capital’ of the world, according to Instagram records. Makati topped the list with 258 selfie takers per 100,000 people. Makati has a population of 500,000.

To celebrate this great honor, Mayor Binay has declared March 14 as a city-wide holiday with a ticker tape parade scheduled at 11 am. Binay is urging all Makati residents to take to the streets that day and not to leave their homes without their smart phones. According to Binay’s brilliant plan, at exactly 12 noon, all parade participants and spectators will be asked to take a selfie with their smart phones. Apparently, Binay is aiming for another world record, the most number of selfies taken at the exact same time.

Pasig, a Metro Manila suburb was named top selfie capital, along with Makati, but Pasig residents don’t think it is such a big deal. The same sentiment has been expressed by Cebu City in Central Philippines which was ranked number 9 in the world. So no ticker tape parade or holidays in either Pasig or Cebu.