Category Archives: The Media

CATHOLIC CHURCH SAYS MYSTERIOUS BRIGHT LIGHT OVER HAWAII SKIES IS OF DIVINE NATURE

Mysterious bright light seen over Hawaii
Mysterious bright light seen over Hawaii

Honolulu, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) – Hawaii residents were stunned and puzzled by a bright white light that went zigzagging across the skies in Ohau, Kauai, Maui and the Big Island. It happened around 7:30  p.m. on Tuesday. Theories ranged from cloud formation to a plane crashing to a missile launching.

Today the Catholic Archdiocese of Honolulu issued a statement confirming that the sighting was of divine nature. “It simpy confirms what many of us already know – that Hawaii is Paradise ” the statement said.

Civilian authorties immediately downplayed the archdiocese’s statement and said that the phenomenon was caused by “gas emitting from a launched test missile, interacting with the sun as it began to set under the islnds’ clear skies.”

But the Catholic Bishops insisted that only a higher power can bring about such a magnificient sky show, and only in a place like Hawaii that’s totally blessed with great Aloha spirit.

This morning, thousands of residents and tourisits were seen flocking to the St. Augustine By The Sea Catholic Church directly across from Waikiki Beach to give thanks and praise for the great blessing bestowed upon Hawaii.

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO GRANTS ABSOLUTE PARDON ON PORK BARREL SCAM

imageManila, Philippines. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The pork barrel scandal that has gripped the Philippines and elevated corruption to unprecedented levels may finally come to an end.

The scandal involves the alleged siphoning of ten billion pesos of taxpayer money into the coffers of businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles , ghost nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) and politicians.

First, it was  the senators that were implicated in the scandal (more than half of sitting senators), then top Aquino administration officials, then current and past congressmen (more than 150 of them), then journalists, and finally the  National Bureau of Investigation and the Departme of Justice. That leaves the Catholic bishops the only ones unscathed.

But wait, previous news reports have long associated the Catholic church with Napoles, including the reported transfer of the famed Black Nazarene statue at the Quiapo Catholic Church to her residence for some private occasion.

Seeing as how no one is left who is not implicated in the scam, President Noynoy Aquino today announced that he has issued an executive order granting absolute pardon to all who have been involved in the pork barrel scandal. “This will allow our country to start fresh and rise from all this embarrassment and negativity,” Aquino said.  He added, “it is time for us to build a new society.”

Ironically,  ‘new society’ translates to  ‘bagong lipunan,” a mantra used by the late President Ferdinand Marcos soon  after he declared Martial Law that sealed his decades long dictatorial rule of this U.S. ally country.

 

HOLLYWOOD ACTRESSES PLAN GENDER DISCRIMINATION PROTEST MARCH OVER SUPERHERO FILMS

Halle Berry's 'Catwoman'
Halle Berry’s ‘Catwoman’

Hollywood, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – A group of famous Hollywood actresses is planning a protest march next week to highlight what they call the pervasive gender discrimination by film studios as it relates to superhero films.  The group, headed by Halle Berry, will begin the march at 5pm on May 26 at the corner of Santa Monica and La Cienega Boulevards in West Hollywood and conclude in front of the historic Mann’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard.  There, Berry and other famous actresses like Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Cameron Diaz, Emma Stone and Charlize Theron will take turns in denouncing the misogynistic culture among Hollywood film producers.

The core of the protest is based on superhero feature films which continue to dominate blockbuster performances and box office revenue.  Berry said that the  ‘Catwoman’ remains to be the only major Hollywood film feature that starred a female superhero.  Berry played the title role in the 2004 movie. “In contrast,” she said, “there have been scores of male superhero films and sequels in the last several decades.”

There have been at least ten ‘Batman’ major films, six ‘Superman’ films, four ‘Spiderman’ films and 3 ‘Captain America’ films, not to mention the anticipated 2014 sequels to ‘Spiderman,’ ‘Captain America’ and ‘Superman.’ These do not include animated super hero films and series.

Lynda Carter's 'Wonder Woman' on TV
Lynda Carter’s ‘Wonder Woman’ on TV

Emma Stone, who co-stars with Andrew Garfield in the latest ‘Spiderman’ movie, says she is dying to play ‘Wonder Woman.’ Outside of the 1970’s television series featuring Lynda Carter, there has never been a single ‘Wonder Woman’ Hollywood film feature. “What’s up with that,” Stone said.

In its prepared manifesto, the group said that unless Hollywood gives women equal opportunity to play super heroines and be the lead in upcoming film productions, Hollywood actresses will start to boycott, and refuse to appear in, any Hollywood productions.

“We’re tired of waiting,” Hathaway said. “We want lead super heroine roles now!”