Category Archives: Sports

Business, International, Sports, Technology, The Media

STEVE BALLMER INCREASES PURCHASE PRICE FOR CLIPPERS TO 3 BILLION DOLLARS

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Steve Ballmer
Steve Ballmer

Seattle, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) – The news that former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has offered to buy the Los Angeles Clippers for Two Billion dollars hasn’t sinked in yet for most people, but already, the Seattle-based billionnaire has  increased his offer to Three Billion.

Ballmer’s new offer came minutes after former Clippers owner Donald Sterling announced he was suing the National Basketball Association (NBA) for One Billion dollars. In the complaint obtained by The Los Angeles Times, Sterling alleged the NBA committed antitrust violations, breached contracts and denied his constitutional rights.

This entire circus was promptd by Sterling’s much-publicized racist comments made to his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, regarding her association with black people.

In speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Ballmer said, “I’m sick and tired of this lawsuit sh*t. If Sterling wants to sue for One Billions Dollars, I’ll give him One Billion Dollars so he can move on and go into retirement in Alaska or wherever he feels comfortable living in.”

“So today, I am announcing that I am increasing my purchase price for the Clippers to Theee Billion, and Sterling can keep the One Billion and just shut the f*ck up,” Ballmer added.

Controversy solved!

Disclaimer: Ballmer’s photo shows him raising five fingers, but he is only committing to Three Billion.

 

Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Sports, The Media

TAX-EVADING MANNY PACQUIAO PLANS TO BUY AN ENTIRE ISLAND

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Manny Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao

Sarangani, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Manny Pacquiao: world champion boxer, congressman, soon-to-be basketball player and coach, potential 2016 presidential candidate, billionaire and tax evader. What’s next for ‘Pacman?’

Today, Pacquaio announced his retirement plans to buy an entire island in Palawan, the southwestern Philippine province known for its pristine beaches, breath-taking land formations and world-class resorts and tourist destinations. There he will build his retirement home, or is it palace?

Immediately following the announcement, Bureau of Internal Revenue Commissioner Kim Henares put out a “keep an eye advisory” to the tax agency’s Palawan branch to make sure that Pacquiao will pay the appropriate property and other applicable taxes in connection with his planned island purchase. Previously, Henares had charged Pacquiao of  failing to pay taxes for his earnings in the boxing ring.

Pacquiao has dominated the headlines lately. In addition to his tax woes, he is reportedly eyeing the Philippine presidency come the 2016 elections. He has sealed an advertising agreement with KIA and signed up to be the Korean car company’s basketball player and coach in the Philippines’ professional basketball league. It was also revealed that Pacquiao remains to be the only billionnaire member of Congress, not to mention being the number one absentee.

Pacquiao is also known as ‘karaoke king, ” but almost everyone knows that already.

Pacquiao is still deciding which island in Palawan he will purchase.

Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Politics, Same-sex Marriage, Sports, The Media

CNN IS BIGGEST WINNER IN NFL DRAFT OF FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYER

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Michael Sam
Michael Sam

Atlanta, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – History was made today when the St. Louis Rams picked the first openly gay player ever to be drafted in the NFL. Michael Sam will join the Rams in the next NFL season.

It was a big win for Sam and the lgbt community but the biggest winner was CNN.

As soon as NFL vice president of game operations Mike Kensil walked to the podium at Radio City Music Hall in New York and announced the selection of Sam, pandemonium filled the newsroom at CNN’s Atlanta headquarters. Producers, news directors and anchors were high-fiving each other and popping bottles of champagne.

For several weeks now, CNN was getting very nervous because it was running out of news material for its 24-hour cable broadcast.  It has spent several months covering and discussing the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines  Flight 370. To this day, CNN could only report that the search operations for the doomed plane or debris have turned up nothing – zero, nada, zilch. CNN anchors, pundits and self-proclaimed expert analysts have run out of theories, speculation and wishful thoughts on what happened to the Boeing 777 jetliner. They’ve also run out of props (toy planes, etc).

The NFL draft announcement would  give CNN a good 90 days of continuous coverage and it has lined up guests and experts who will discuss, analyze, and speculate on the aftermath of Sam’s unprecedented draft.

CNN Newsroom has already scheduled segment topics such as ‘The Future of NFL,’ ‘Locker Room Politics’ and ‘Heterosexuality, Homesexuality and the new NFL.’