NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – After the Cincinnati Bengals’ 34-21 win over the Buffalo Bills Sunday, the NFL Network took viewers live to the Cincinnati locker room, where Albert Breer conducted an interview with Adam “Pacman” Jones.
There was one big problem: television viewers did not pay attention to the interview. But still, it will go down in U.S. football history as the most interesting live interview ever. Touch down!
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – U.S. mainstream media totally missed out on a big, breaking story when they reported that American football quarterback free agent Tim Tebow “paid a visit” to Filipino boxing champion Manny Pacquiao during the latter’s sparring session.
Once all the photos were taken and the media reporters had left, The Adobo Chronicles sat down for a one-on-one interview with Pacquiao.
We didn’t ask him any questions about his upcoming fight with Floyd Mayweather (May 2, 2015, at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.) Rather, we asked the Filipino congressman about his future political plans.
“I’m glad you asked that,” Pacquiao told us, “because today, I am officially announcing that I am running for president in the 2016 elections in the Philippines.”
“I can now also confirm that I have chosen my vice presidential runningmate — Tim Tebow.”
Tebow played for the Denver Broncos and New York Jets of the National Football League, and is known for openly proclaiming his Christian values. He was born in the Philippines to missionary parents. He is 27 years old.
The Philippine Constitution sets the minimum age qualification for president and vice president at 40, but Pacquiao does not see it as a problem. “After my fight with Mayweather, I will go back to congress and seek to amend the constitution to reduce the minimum age qualification to 25 for both president and vice president,” he said. Pacquiao himself would be underage at 36, unless the constitution is amended.
“As president and vice president, Tim and I will work to make the Philippines the number one country in the world in terms of boxers, football players and born-again Christians,” Pacquiao told us.
GLENDALE, Arizona (The Adobo Chronicles) – Super Bowl XLIX will go down in history as the most divisive sports event in the history of the United States. And we’re not even talking about the Patriots or the Seahawks and their minions of fans.
We’re talking about Katy Perry, the featured performer during the football game’s half-time show. Her performance practically divided the country in half.
USA Today‘s headline read: “Katy Perry Blew Away The Super Bowl Half-time Show.” The New York Daily News had a different opinion, describing Perry’s show, “more girlie meow than roar.”
Netizens posted, “It’s all theatrics” while others said “I’ve never been a fan of Perry, but I am now.”
Asian Americans were disappointed that Perry didn’t wear a Geisha costume. Native Americans wished she wore a feather headdress while sitting atop that monstrous mechanical lion. Latinos were one in saying about the performance, “No, no se puede.” Finally, African Americans said Missy Elliott should have been the featured performer instead of Perry.
What are we to do? Damned if you don’t. Damned if you do. Welcome to America!