Category Archives: Politics

MICHELE BACHMANN POISED TO SUCCEED THE LATE FRED PHELPS OF WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH

Today's protest at the U.S. Supreme Court attended by Michele Bachmann (photo: The Adobo Chronicles)
Today’s protest at the U.S. Supreme Court attended by Michele Bachmann (photo: The Adobo Chronicles)

Washington, D.C. – The Adobo Chronicles chanced upon Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) just outside the Supreme Court today. Wearing a fur coat with a hood, she stood under the snow shower side by side with protesters who were in support of the Hobby Lobby contraception case being heard by the Supremes.

Observers have noticed that in rcecent days, Bachmann has been appearing on television and social media, advocating for a “return to the days of our founding fathers, when America was God’s favorite country.”

Bachmann told The Adobo Chronicles that the many problems facing America today are a result of too much  emphasis on women’s rights, gay rights and immigrant rights. “Our founding fathers were so much into Jesus that America was truly blessed,” she said.

Bachmann
Bachmann

It appears that Bachmann has been trying to be more visible after many months of hiatus. This, according to reliable sources, is in preparation for next week’s big announcement that Bachmann has been chosen by the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, to succeed its late founder and pastor Fred Phelps.

Bachman refused to confirm or deny her impending promotion, merely saying to reporters: “God bless you and God bless America.”

 

UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS WITH COMMON AMERICAN SURNAMES TO BE GIVEN PRIORITY IN OBTAINING LEGAL STATUS

imageWashington, D.C. – Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles  reported that the Republicans in Congress have finally agreed to support comprehensive immigration reform through a bill that would grant amnesty to the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants in the U.S.

Today, we have learned about additonal details of the almost identical bills in the Senate and the House of Representatives.

A key provision of the bills spells out who will be given priority in legalization or citizenship.

Undocumented immigrants whose last names correspond to the top 25 most common American surnames will be given priority in applying for a green card and eventual citizenship. The provision does not make any distinction among surnames acquired by birth, marriage or through court-approved petitions.

Hispanic, Latino, Chinese and Filipino immigration advocates immediately hailed the proposal considering that the list of top 25 most common American surnames includes : Garcia, Martinez, Rodriguez and Lee.

 

REPUBLICANS FINALLY AGREE TO COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM

imageWashington, D.C.  ( EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) – Just when immigration advocates, Democrats and even President Barack Obama have all but given up hope for congress to pass a comprehensive immigration reform this year,  Senate and House Republicans have put forward their most favorable proposal yet. It consists of total amnesty for the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. — on one condition.

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, House Speaker John Boehner announced that a draft bill which has the blessing of both Republican senators and representatives, will be introduced in Congress early this week.

Boehner said that the Republicans have finally come to the conclusion that amnesty is the only way to fix the broken immigration system.  He said, however, that in order to make the reform truly comprehensive, it must not only address border security going forward but insure that the law applies to all creatures entering the United States. “This would include killer whales, elephants, lions, tigers and all animal species brought to this country by zoos, theme parks and circuses,” Boehner said.

The Adobo Chronicles obtained a copy of the draft bill which mandates that all these creatures must obtain a work visa if employed for entertainment purposes. They will also be required to obtain health insurance under Obamacare. After 5 years in the U.S., the creatures will be eligible for permanent residency, and susequently, citizenship, after another 5 years.

The White House has declined comment saying that President Obama has yet to see a copy of the draft bill.

See related article: “Undocumented Immigrants With Common American Surnames Will be Given Priority for Legalization.”