Category Archives: International

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION DISCOVERED ON MARS

NASA photo captured by Mars Rover
NASA photo captured by Mars Rover

Washington, D.C. – It was the search for weapons of mass destruction that prompted the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003.  It was to become the legacy of the administration of George W. Bush. But neither the ‘shock and awe’ that began the Iraq war nor Bush’s speech on board USS Abraham Lincoln with the sign ‘Mission Accomplished’ emblazoned behind him produced any evidence of  WMDs.

Now, it can be revealed that the regime of Saddam Hussein indeed harbored weapons of mass destruction, not hidden anywhere within Iraqi territory, but stashed away on the planet Mars.

The National Aeronautics & Space Administration (NASA) has released photos taken by one of two rovers on the red planet. The photos showed what appears to be artificial light emanating outward from the planet’s surface, and beamed millions of miles from Mars to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

Scientists were quick to speculate that intelligent beings exist in Mars.  However, a confidential memo from the U.S. Department of Defense confirmed that the light beam was part of the cache of WMDs which it said Iraq sent to the red planet just weeks prior to the U.S. invasion.

Both NASA and DOD are currently determining whether the WMDs were rocketed to Mars in unmanned spaceships or whether there actually are Iraqis now on Mars who are managing and maintaining the weapons.

 

 

PHILIPPINES’ CATHOLIC BISHOPS GO ON STRIKE OVER SUPREME COURT DECISION ON REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH LAW

File photo: Philippine bishops with former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo
File photo: Philippine bishops with former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

Baguio City, Philippines – This week, the Supreme Court of the Philippines ruled that the controversial Reproductive Health Bill passed by Congress and signed into law by President NoyNoy Aquino is constitutional.

Meeting in Baguio City, the Philippine summer capital, the justices unanimously agreed to let stand most of the new law which provides for the distribution of condoms and other birth control devices in government clinics as well as sex education in schools.

Immediately after the announcement of the high court’s decision, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) declared a nationwide strike. The Philippine bishops have been against the measure from the beginning, often using the pulpit to encourage the Catholic faithful to oppose the bill, now law.

The nationwide strike comes at a crucial time as Filipinos approach the conclusion of the Lenten season, leading up to Easter Sunday.

A CBCP spokesperson said that effective immediately, all priests and bishops will refrain from saying mass or administering the sacraments in all churches and parishes in the country.

The strike is expected to paralyze this predominantly Catholic country of almost 100 Million people.

CBCP declined to say whether or  not the strike had the imprimatur of Pope Francis.

UPDATE: APA DEFENDS USE OF ‘SELFITIS’ TERMINOLOGY

imageArlington, Virginia – Last week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) has classified the taking of selfies as a mental disorder and went on to call it ‘selfitis.’

The medical community was quick to criticize APA’s use of the term ‘selfitis,’ saying that the suffix ‘itis’ refers to a condition or disease that involves some form of inflammation.  Bronchitis is an inflammation of the bronchial passages of the lungs; tonsilitis is the inflammation of the tonsils; dermatitis is the inflammation of the skin.  Many doctors and scientists said that the correct term for an “addiction” such as the addiction to take self photos should be ‘selfism,’ just like addiction to alcohol is ‘alcoholism.’

However, APA defended its choice for the term ‘selfitis’ saying that the newly classified mental disorder is an ‘inflammation of one’s ego.’