Tag Archives: Mars

MATT DAMON SIGNS UP FOR NASA’S FIRST HUMAN MISSION TO MARS

Damon in
Damon in “The Martian”

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Is it film imitating life, or life imitating film?

Following Monday’s earth-shattering announcement by NASA that scientists have discovered flowing water — ergo, life — on Mars, the space agency unveiled its new spaceship  scheduled to head for the red planet in mid- 2016, with human crew members.

In addition to two astronauts still to be selected and named, NASA has offered a seat on the spaceship to private individuals who would cough up  five million dollars for the experience.

It didn’t take long for that seat to be filled.

Actor Matt Damon who, incidentally, stars in a new Hollywood film, “The Martian,” just sent NASA a cashier’s check for $5 Million.

The film, to be released by 20th Century Fox, opens in theaters worldwide starting in October.

Damon says that his portrayal of an astronaut left for dead after a botched mission on Mars, was so realistic that he felt it was almost like the “real thing.”  “So, to complete the experience, I would like to be part of a human mission to further explore life on the red planet,” Damon stated in his application to NASA.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump also expressed interest in the human mission, but he wanted to wait and see if he gets his party’s nomination for president in the 2016 elections. “I am prepared to pay one billion dollars for the experience,” Trump said.

(We hope that if Trump is selected, it would be a one-way ticket to Mars!)

NASA’S DISCOVERY OF WATER ON MARS A HOAX!

Water on Mars?
Water on Mars?

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – How the world (universe) turns! News satire sites are often accused of perpetuating hoaxes that many gullible netizens are quick to believe or pass on as fact.

Today, the National Association of Satire Writers (NASW) discovered that  NASA’s announcement about the discovery of flowing water on Mars was a hoax. Even Rush Limbaugh said so on his syndicated radio program!

The announcement was beamed live on the Internet supposedly from the NASA headquarters in Washington, D.C.  As a matter of fact, it was broadcast from a sound stage inside Universal Studios in Hollywood.

Now we know why not a single news or cable network, outside of NASA TV, covered the NASA announcement live.

It turns out that the whole exercise was staged by 20th Century Fox, distributor of the upcoming film, ‘The Martian’ starring Matt Damon.

The new film is about an astronaut who was a member of the crew  sent to explore the red planet and was somehow left behind, for dead.  Damon’s character actually survived on Mars.

The supposed NASA announcement was part of a multi-million promotion by 20th Century Fox to create a buzz for the film, hoping to make it a record-breaking blockbuster for the fall.

In exchange for participation in the hoax announcement, NASA will receive millions of dollars in donation from 20th Century Fox.  NASA says the money will go towards pursuing its future missions to — where else… Mars!

NASA TO ANNOUNCE MONDAY: EARTHLY DEBRIS FOUND ON MARS

imageWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – The National Aeoronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is expected to announce on Monday that scientists have discovered on the surface of the red planet what appears to be debris from earth.

NASA is preparing to reveal  the “major science finding” in a special news conference that will take place at 11.30 a.m. EDT (4.30 p.m. BST) on Monday to be broadcast live on NASA TV. Reporters will be onsite and asking questions by phone, while the public can get involved via #AskNASA.

Because of the ground-breaking discovery, scientists are now speculating that human life could exist in Mars.

The debris consist of rusty man-made equipment which resemble those of film cameras, recorders and lighting paraphernalia.

In advance of the news conference, The Adobo Chronicles® interviewed key inside sources at NASA who spoke on the condition of anonymity.  They confirmed that the debris were, indeed, equipment recently left behind by a film crew from earth.

We contacted 20th Century Fox, distributors of the upcoming Matt Damon starrer, ‘The Martian,’ but executives refused to confirm or deny that the debris found in Mars had anything to do with their movie which is set to be released worldwide next week.

We’ll just have to wait for the official NASA announcement on Monday.