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TOP TEN THINGS TO EXPECT FROM SONA (STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS)

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imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – On Monday, July 28, President Aquino will deliver his 5th State of the Nation Address (SONA), the Philippine equivalent of the U.S. State of the Union (SOTU).

Here are the top ten things to expect from this year’s SONA to be delivered at the House of Representatives Building (Batasang Pambansa).

  1. Aquino has officially renamed it ‘State of NoyNoy Address.’
  2. Only senators and congressmen wearing yellow ribbons will be allowed in the assembly hall.
  3. Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Bong Revilla, Jr, and Jinggoy Estrada will be participating by skype from their jail cells.
  4. Aquino will begin his address by apologizing to Noranians for snubbing their idol Nora Aunor in the naming of National Artists.
  5. In an unprecedented move, Aquino’s showbiz sister, Kris, will be seated at the dais, next to the podium where the president will be speaking from.
  6. All the justices of the Supreme Court will be seated in the back row of the assembly floor as punishment for ruling that Aquino’s Disbursement Acceleration Program (DAP) is unconstitutional.
  7. Vice President Jejomar Binay will be watching via closed ciruit TV in his senate office; Aquino wants to let Filipinos know  that he is sill in charge.
  8. When Aquino talks about the pork barrel scandal, TV networks will show Janet Lim-Napoles via live cam from her jail cell.
  9. Because Aquino has no accomplishments to report, the SONA will only last for 10 minutes, the shortest presidential SONA ever.
  10. Aquino will declare a recess 5 minutes into his speech for a cigarette break.
Business, Economy, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics

OBAMA TO ISSUE EXECUTIVE ORDER ON DEPORTATION

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obama-signs-executive-order2Los Angeles, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Comprehensive immigration reform legislation may be dead this year in the U.S. Congress, but it hasn’t stopped President Barack Obama from using his executive powers to try to fix the country’s broken immigration system.

In a speech today at a community college in Los Angeles, Obama said that American-based firms that use legal loopholes to avoid paying U.S. taxes have effectively renounced any allegiance to their home country. “These firms are essentially renouncing their American citizenship so that they can ship their profits overseas to avoid paying taxes – even as they benefit from all the advantages of being here in America,” the president added.

To deal with the situation, Obama said he will issue an executive order shortly that would speed up the deportation of officials and owners of these firms. “They will be the top priority of the Department of Homeland Security when implementing the country’s immigration laws, Obama said. He added that “we will keep and take care of the undocumented, unaccompanied children from Central America who crossed our borders, as well as the 11 Million undocumented immigrants now in the country but who do not have criminal records. We will focus our deportation efforts on the moneyed crooks who don’t value their American citizenship.”

 

Business, Economy, Human Interest, Politics, Religion

CHURCH OFFICIAL IS ALL PRAISE FOR POPULATION EXPLOSION IN THE PHILIPPINES

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populationManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – In America, corporations are people. In the Philippines, people are money. That is, according to a ranking member of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP).

Reacting to a new report that the population of the Philippines is about to officially reach 100 Million, Father Melvin Castro,  executive secretary of the CBCP, said that this is good news.  “It is a blessing and a demographic dividend,” he added.

It is estimated that 75 percent of the Philippines’ total population are Catholic.

Castro
Castro

In an interview on the Catholic Radio Station, Radio Veritas, Castro explained what he meant by  “dividend” and discussed the great impact of the population explosion, especially on the country’s Roman Catholic Church.

“Just imagine, even if only 50 Million Catholics will put one peso into the Sunday collection basket, that’s 50 Million pesos a week that will go to the coffers of the Catholic Church.  Multiply that by 52 weeks, that’s 2.6 Billion pesos a year.  Think of what all that money, plus the interest it will earn from the church’s stock investments, can do,” Castro argued.

It is precisely the church’s wealth and influence that President NoyNoy Aquino had proposed a constitutional amendment to create  four branches of government: executive, legislative, judicial and the Catholic Church.