As President, Donald Trump Will Ban ‘Happy Hanukkah,’Happy Kwanzaa’ And ‘Maligayang Pasko’

IMG_7585.PNGNEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – President-elect Donald Trump today reiterated his intention to bring back the greeting ‘Merry Christmas,’ one of his many campaign promises.

Waging his war on political correctness, Trump said that beginning next year, he will ban greetings like ‘Happy Hanukkah,’ ‘Happy Kwanzaa,’ and ‘Maligayang Pasko.’

Although ‘Maligayang Pasko’ is merely a Filipino (Tagalog) translation of ‘Merry Christmas,’ Trump said, “Still, if you’re in America, do as the Americans do. Speak English.”

So to our Filipino readers in America, we say — for the last time — Maligayang Pasko!

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Donald Trump To Appoint Kanye West As FCC Commissioner

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West with the president-elect at Trump Tower

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) – Many have wondered why Kanye West was seen at the Trump Tower in New York, striking a pose with the president-elect and daughter Ivanka.

Well, wonder no more.

Reliable sources told The Adobo Chronicles that Donald Trump is set to appoint West to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). The controversial rap singer will be one of five commissioners.

FCC is an independent agency of the United States government, created by Congressional statute  to regulate interstate communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and U.S. territories. The FCC works towards six goals in the areas of broadband, competition, the spectrum, the media, public safety and homeland security, and modernizing itself.

When asked what qualifies West to be an FCC commissioner, Trump said, “He is familiar with media and we’ve been friends for a long time. Ivanka is also good friends with West’s wife, Kim Kardashian. The couple will bring a much-needed celebrity status to my administration, not to mention diversity.”

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Facing A Lifetime Ban, Donald Trump Offers To Buy Twitter For $1.2 Billion

img_7576SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – Twitter is considering banning Donald Trump from the social network after his recent angry tweets in which he attacked Indianapolis factory worker Chuck Jones. Soon after, Mr Jones received a run of abusive calls, the Washington Post reported, apparently spurred on by the tweet.

Twitter’s rules prohibit tweets that incite abuse or harassment, and echoes situations where Twitter has opted to ban people for life.

Upon learning of his impending ban from Twitter, Trump sent Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey an offer to buy out the San Francisco-based company for its full net worth of $1.2 billion.

A spokesperson for Trump said the purchase would enable the president-elect to continue using the social media network for his rants and trolls even after he has assumed the presidency.

Twitter account holders are afraid that their tweets will be censored if not deleted once Trump assumes ownership of the company.

Especially if the tweets are critical of Trump.

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