PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT UNVEILS DESIGNER ‘JAIL CELLS’ FOR PORK BARREL-INDICTED POLITICIANS

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – It’s been almost eight months since the deadliest typhoon on record hit the Philippines, leaving more than 6,000 dead and hundreds of thousands homeless.

Victims of Haiyan (Yolanda) are still struggling to put the pieces of their lives back together. Despite billions of pesos in international aid, many remain without roofs over their heads.

Meanwhile, in the nation’s capital, the government has unveiled a prototype jail cell for senators, congressmen, administration officials and others indicted or soon to be indicted in the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scandal. Construction of these jail cells has reached fever pitch this week as the first two indicted senators surrendered to authorities – Senators Bong Revilla, Jr. and Jinggoy Estrada. A third senator, Juan Ponce Enrile, is expected to be issued a warrant of arrest shortly.

A ‘secret list’ of many other politicians implicated in the case is being held by the Justice Department. Investigations are ongoing.

The prototype cell comes with a comfy single bed with down mattress, a koa wood nightstand, bright blue drapes, sheets and pillow case imported from Saks Fifth Avenue in New York, a wall-mounted HDTV and an airconditioning unit.  The window has no iron bars and looks out into either the parking lot or a courtyard. For security reasons, authorities did not show reporters the inside of the bathroom.  Some speculated that it comes with a full shower and mini-jacuzzi.

The prototype cell was designed by a famous San Francisco-based Filipino American, Michael Martin Navarette Bello. Interviewed by The Adobo Chronicles, Bello said, “For the record, I had to adhere to very strict low budget guidelines and had in mind that the convicts were going to be there for life that is why it had a hospital feel.”

WIMBLEDON: MCENROE, GULBIS WANT TO RID TENNIS OF VAMPIRES

Gulbis
Gulbis

London, Great Britain (The Adobo Chronicles) – There have been reported sightings of vampires this week in Wimbledon, the oldest tennis tournament in the world, and widely considered the most prestigious.

This has led tennis legend John McEnroe to spearhead a campaign to rid Wimbledon — and tennis in general — of these blood-sucking creatures as immortalized in the blockbuster ‘Twilight’ movies. image

Among the first to respond to McEnroe’s campaign was Ernests Gulbis of Latvia. In a press conference following his first-round win in the tournament, Gulbis lashed out at vampires in an impassioned plea to cleanse the tennis courts of evil beings.

Here’s a video clip of the press conference in Wimbledon.

 

AQUINO DECLARES TWO-DAY HOLIDAY IN THE PHILIPPINES DURING WORLD CUP MATCHES

De Guzman, left, and Rimando, right
De Guzman, left, and Rimando, right

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Facing intense heat and uproar over his decision to exclude multi-awarded actress Nora Aunor from this year’s list of National Artists, President NoyNoy Aquino has found a way to shift the focus away from this latest controversy.

Aquino has declared Friday  and Monday (Thursday and Sunday, respectively in Brazil) as special paid holidays for all government and private workers in the Philippines.  Friday is when the U.S. plays against Germany and Monday is when the Netherlands faces Mexico in the World Cup in Rio de Janeiro.  This is to allow Filipinos to watch both games.

Although the Philippines is not in the World Cup, two players — Jonathan de Guzman and Nick Rimando are of Filipino descent.  De Guzman who is half Filipino and half Jamaican is with the Netherlands team and Rimando who is Filipino-Mexican is with the U.S. team.

“I know many people are upset about my decision not to name Ms. Aunor as a National Artist, but I wish they would just let it go and focus instead on these two important dates where once again, Filipinos can prove to the world that they can excel in the field of sports,” Aquino said.

In signing the executive order declaring the paid holidays, Aquino urged his countrymen to cheer on the Pinoy football PIPA (sic) players while enjoying a four-day long weekend. (He, of course, meant FIFA).