Tag Archives: Travel

FOR THE PEOPLE OF KANSAS, THE PHILIPPINES IS THEIR FAVORITE INTERNATIONAL DESTINATION

imageKansas City, Kansas (The Adobo Chronicles) – For people who live in Kansas, their favorite top travel destination is … drum roll … the Philippines.

This was revealed in a new research study conducted by Hopper.com. The study surveyed all 50 U.S. states to determine their population’s top travel destination. The results showed that the Philippines was also the top choice for California and Nevada. But Kansas?

So, The Adobo Chronicles conducted an independent follow-up survey to try to determine why Kansans chose the Philippines as their top international travel destination. Our survey was very revealing, and unanimous!

imageWhen Kansans think of the Philippines, they almost always think of ‘The Wizard Of Oz,’ the timeless classic that began in Kansas and ended up in lala land. In the ‘Oz,’ the main character, Dorothy, was transported by a tornado into the make- believe world of munchkins, the wicked witch, the heartless tin man, the brainless scarecrow and the cowardly lion.

Respondents to our survey indicated that their view of the Philippines includes the little people (Munchkins) – the Filipino masses who are forever poor and powerless because of the manipulation by the rich and corrupt politicians.

When Kansans think of the wicked witch, they think of Kim Henares, the Internal Revenue Commissioner who is constantly engaged in a witch hunt to collect taxes and more taxes while knowing that it all goes into the pockets of politicians.

The Philippine National Police (PNP) is looked upon as the heartless tin man — from the bribe-collecting traffic policemen to PNP chief Alan Purisima who has enriched himself by receiving expensive gifts and building a mansion-like home in the province of Nueva Ecija which he describes as just “ordinary.”

The brainless scarecrow is, of course, President NoyNoy Aquino, forever clueless and always blaming someone else for the problems of his country. He loves using empty rhetoric and scare tactics when confronting his critics and enemies.

The cowardly lion is Vice President Jejomar Binay who is not man enough to face the Senate inquiry into his and his family’s shady practices, especially with regards to the now infamous and overpriced Makati City Hall parking structure.

Then, there’s Dorothy’s ruby slippers which remind Kansans of Imelda Marcos’ collection of 3,000 pairs of shoes (In fairness, nine of Imelda’s shoes were made of ruby).

In conclusion, our survey confirmed that Kansans were right on in choosing the Philippines as their top destination. After all, in the Philippines, life imitates fiction; a life of make-believe.

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TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEED UPON LANDING AT NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The murdered Filipino opposition leader must be turning and twisting in his grave as the international airport named after him has gained the reputation as the worst in the world. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has been the subject of ridicule in recent months not only for overcrowding, confusing signage or lack thereof, clueless airport personnel, and most of all, non-functioning airconditioning units.

As of press time, new airconditioning units  have reportedly arrived but it is no guarantee that incoming and outgoing passengers will keep their cool.

As a stop-gap measure, the Philippines’ Airports Authority issued a travel advisory recommending the top ten things traveling passengers will need upon disembarkation:

1. Anahaw (wicker) fans. They’re relatively inexpensive. Foreigners can easily borrow these from their Filipino friends and neighbors. They are also sold at NAIA concession stands.

2. If you want to go high tech, you can purchase battery-operated personal fans from almost every mall in America and elsewhere.

3. Cotton towel, to wipe your sweat and keep you dry at all times, especially while in line at the immigration, customs and baggage claim areas.

4. Plastic spray bottle. Make sure to fill it up with water before de-planing. You will need to squirt some mist on your face every minute or so.

5. Deodorant. Be courteous to your fellow incoming passengers.

6. Perfume. Make it a Prada. Filipinos love designer stuff

7. Face mask. It will not only protect you from airborne viruses, but from the stench of sweat all around you.

8. Bikini top for women. Think of it as entering a dry sauna.  And make it Victoria’s Secret. Filipinos love designer stuff.

9. Bikini bottom for men. Make it Calvin Klein. Filipinos love designer stuff.

10. Ice-cold bottled water. Not just any bottled water. Make it a Fiji. Did we already mention Filipinos love designer stuff?

Mabuhay! Welcome to Manila, you know, the place novelist Dan Brown calls “the gates of hell.”

HAWAIIAN AIRLINES ANNOUNCES NEW BOARDING PROCEDURES

imageHonolulu, Hawaii – Hawaiian Airlines has recently announced new boarding procedures for all of its domestic and international flights.

Airline passengers know that different carriers have their own unique boarding procedures, offering early and priority boarding to first class passengers, members of their frequent flier programs,individuals needing special assistance, and by row numbers.

The newly-announced  procedures at Hawaiian eliminate boarding by class or frequent traveler status.  Instead, ticketed passengers will be asked to form a single line at the designated gate on a first-come, first-served basis.  When the plane is ready for boarding, each passenger first in the queue will be asked to say the name of Hawaii’s state fish – humuhumunukunukuapua’a. Anyone who cannot say the name will be asked to go back to the end of the line. image

Hawaiian Airlines said that the new policy is meant to help promote greater appreciation of things Hawaiian.

The reef triggerfish was originally designated the official fish of Hawaii in 1985,  but due to an expiration of a Hawaiian state law after five years, it ceased to be the state fish in 1990. In 2006, a bill was passed in the state assembly which permanently reinstated humuhumunukunukuapuaʻa as the state fish of Hawaii.

So, next time you fly Hawaiian, it’s no longer enough just to be able to say, “Aloha.” You must be able to say, “hoo-moo-hoo-moo-noo-koo-noo-koo-ah-poo-wah-ah!”