Texas | The Adobo Chronicles

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Texas Governor and former presidential candidate Rick Perry has just endeared himself to the homosexual community.

In a speech before members of the Commonweath Club of California, Perry admitted that in the same way he has the genetic makeup to become an alcoholic, he also has the genes to become a latent homosexual. Perry’s comments all but confirm his belief that the gay lifestyle is not a choice.

“I (may) have the genetic coding (that I’m inclined) to be an alcoholic, ~~but~~ (and) I have the desire ~~not~~ to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” Perry said in his San Francisco speech. The governor however refused to reveal a timeline in which he will act upon his gay genes.

The Log Cabin Republicans, the lgbt group within the GOP, immediately praised Perry and vowed to fully endorse his candidacy should he decide again to run for president in 2016.

The San Francisco Pride Committee convened an emergency meeting last night and unanimously voted to make Perry an honorary grand marshall at this month’s pride parade and celebration.

Aboard Air Force One — We all remember the months leading up to the 2012 U.S. Presidential Elections when several states threatened to secede from the United States if Obama were re-elected president. We all know what happened in the elections, but whatever happened to the secessionists? To this day, the secessionist movement has not died down and its proponents are still trying the gather enough signatures on their petitions to grant their respective states — Alabama, Texas and Florida — independence from the Union.

It now appears that the Obama administration is preparing for the inevitable secession by inviting renowned cartographers (people who draw maps) on the President’s occasional trips across the U.S. Mainland. Confidential sources tell The Adobo Chronicles that no flight of Air Force One is without cartographers, especially if the flight route includes Florida, Texas and Alabama.

In a leaked document which the National Security Administration seemed to have failed to stop, a “pre-emptive” map of the U.S. Mainland, drawn by the cartographers shows the U.S. Mainland without Florida and Texas. President Obama was reportedly amused at how the map looks like without the two states. The same confidential sources indicated that a second map found within the leaked document shows the U.S. Mainland without the state of Alabama, along with Texas and Florida. The Adobo Chronicles was, however, unable to obtain a copy of the second map. But here is the first map:

In a related development, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) told the media he is standing by an aide, Jack Hunter, who is known for his pro-secession and pro-Confederate stance. Paul’s comments follow a report from the conservative Washington Free Beacon about Hunter, who joined Paul’s office as social media director in 2012. Hunter worked with Paul on the 2011 book The Tea Party Goes to Washington. In his 20s, Hunter was the chairman of the League of the South, a group that “advocates the secession and subsequent independence of the Southern State from this forced union and the formation of a Southern republic,” according to the Free Beacon report.