Tag Archives: President Obama

Michele Bachmann Escapes From St. Peter Mental Facility, Issues Stinging Statement On Cuba, ISIS

Bachmann
Bachmann

ST. PETER, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – State health officials today confirmed earlier reports that former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann has escaped from the maximum security mental hospital in St. Peter.

The former Republican  presidential candidate and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus voluntarily checked in at the facility immediately after her congressional term expired in 2015 and hasn’t been heard of from ever since.

Just hours after her escape, she wrote a column for the right-wing site of crazy, World Net Daily, titled, “Obama Enjoys Cuba While Civilization Burns,” where she claimed the president humiliated America by meeting with Castro.

“This week, a United States president was humiliated on the world’s stage by an aging, insulting Communist dictator. Our feckless U.S. president appeared unfazed by the message he portrayed of American incompetence and historic irrelevance. In fact, the president appeared pleased with himself and seemed to revel in his infallible cleverness,” she wrote.

She went on to say that ISIS attacks may just be the work of God:

“OR MAYBE OUR PRESIDENT’S HUMILIATION COMES IN A MANNER SO DEVASTATING IT MAKES ONE WONDER WHETHER THE CREATOR OF HUMANKIND ISN’T REMINDING THIS WORLD OF THE INFERIORITY OF FOOLISHNESS IN THE FACE OF WISDOM.”

A massive womanhunt has been launched to locate Bachmann to prevent the further spread of her contagious  mental condition which authorities fear could infect the already crazy (and now sex scandal-tainted) Republican contest for the presidential nomation.

Sightings of Bachmann may be reported by calling a toll-free number, 1-800-GET-CRZY.

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Obama Criticized For Dancing The Tango, Opponents Say He Should Have Chosen Square Dance

imageWASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Critics have condemned U.S. President Barack Obama for dancing the tango during a state dinner held in his honor while visiting Argentina, saying it was very insensitive of him and Michelle to do it in the wake of the terrorist attacks in Brussels, Belgium.

“How can the leader of the most powerful nation on earth  be so callous especially when he was not even in his home country,” the critics said.

Asked by The Adobo Chronicles what President and Mrs. Obama should have done, the critics said, “they should have chosen to do it the American way — the square dance, or at the very least, the hip hop dance.”

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

Senator Marco Rubio Is Going Back To His Native Cuba, Thanks President Obama

Rubio
Rubio

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Marco Rubio said Thursday that he plans to leave the government after the end of his Senate term, and that he’s not interested in being anyone’s Vice President.

“I’m not going to be Vice President,” the Florida Senator told reporters Thursday. “I’m not running for governor of Florida, I’m going to finish out my term in the Senate over the next 10 months… and then I’ll be a private citizen.

By “private citizen,” Rubio means a citizen of Cuba.

“I’m done with the American Dream,” he said, “if American voters, especially the Republicans, don’t want me, then I’m going back to my land of heritage.

The senator, in a very unusual gesture, thanked President Barack Obama for re-opening diplomatic relations with Cuba. “He knows exactly what he’s doing. This will make my transition from American senator to private Cuban citizen much eaiser,” he said.

We wish Rubio all the best.