ST. PETER, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – State health officials today confirmed earlier reports that former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann has escaped from the maximum security mental hospital in St. Peter.
The former Republican presidential candidate and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus voluntarily checked in at the facility immediately after her congressional term expired in 2015 and hasn’t been heard of from ever since.
Just hours after her escape, she wrote a column for the right-wing site of crazy, World Net Daily, titled, “Obama Enjoys Cuba While Civilization Burns,” where she claimed the president humiliated America by meeting with Castro.
“This week, a United States president was humiliated on the world’s stage by an aging, insulting Communist dictator. Our feckless U.S. president appeared unfazed by the message he portrayed of American incompetence and historic irrelevance. In fact, the president appeared pleased with himself and seemed to revel in his infallible cleverness,” she wrote.
She went on to say that ISIS attacks may just be the work of God:
“OR MAYBE OUR PRESIDENT’S HUMILIATION COMES IN A MANNER SO DEVASTATING IT MAKES ONE WONDER WHETHER THE CREATOR OF HUMANKIND ISN’T REMINDING THIS WORLD OF THE INFERIORITY OF FOOLISHNESS IN THE FACE OF WISDOM.”
A massive womanhunt has been launched to locate Bachmann to prevent the further spread of her contagious mental condition which authorities fear could infect the already crazy (and now sex scandal-tainted) Republican contest for the presidential nomation.
Sightings of Bachmann may be reported by calling a toll-free number, 1-800-GET-CRZY.