Tag Archives: Israel

JOAN RIVERS ADMITS TO HUGE DROP IN HER IQ

imageLos Angeles, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Comedienne Joan Rivers is in hot water yet again after she told reporters that the 2,000 Palestinians  who have been killed in Gaza as a result of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict deserved their fate.

“They were told to get out. They didn’t get out. You don’t get out, you are an idiot. At least the ones that were killed were the ones with very low IQ’s,” she said.

Rivers, before her career was relegated to being the red carpet fashion police, was considered one of the more intelligent television personalities in the same category as Johnny Carson and David Letterman.

However, in an interview with The Adobo Chronicles, Rivers admitted that her  IQ has tremendously decreased over the last decade. She says she used to have an IQ of 150 which is considered anywhere between high and being a genuius.  Now she says that in the latest IQ test she took, she scored a measly 75.

“I think my age is getting the best of me, or perhaps I should be associating more with the likes of Jon Stewart,  Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon,” she admitted.

She said she will try to call Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas to personally apologize for her insensitive comments.

PHILIPPINE SENATOR BONG REVILLA A CHANGED MAN AFTER HOLY LAND ENCOUNTER

Revilla
Revilla

Tel Aviv, Israel – As the Office of the Philippine Ombudsman prepared to indict three senators for their alleged role in the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam, most Filipinos went about their usual traditional Lenten season rituals – fasting, abstaining from meat, visiting churches, praying the rosary, going through the stations of the cross (via crucis) and giving alms to the poor. There is much anticipation for Easter Sunday, which Catholics know to be the day that Jesus Christ resurrected following his death on the Cross.

The three senators – Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla – are about to face plunder and graft charges for allegedly pocketing their pork barrel funds in an elaborate scheme supposedly masterminded by businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles who is now in detention.

Senator Revilla is on a different level of Lenten tradition, one that  low to medium-income people don’t usually get the chance to experience. Revilla, his wife and children, are in the Holy Land on a religious pilgrimage to what is believed to be the birthplace of Jesus.

In a skype call with Revilla’s wife, Cavite Representative Lani Mercado-Revilla, she indicated that  immediately upon their arrival in Jerusalem, she saw a transformation with the Senator. “His physical appearance and demeanor totally changed. He seemed like he was at peace,  like he just came out of the confessional box. In fact, throughout our flight from Manila to Tel Aviv, Bong was very calm and kept on listening to a video recording of “My Way,” sung by Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver and winner of the first “X Factor Israel.”

Mrs.Revilla denied that the family was planning to seek political asylum in Israel, adding: “when we return to the Philippines after the pilgrimage, Bong will make an important announcement.” She didn’t say whether that announcement would be “guilty” or “not guilty.”

Meanwhile, Senators Enrile and Estrada, appear to be observing the Lenten season in solitary confinement in their respective mansions, perhaps praying for divine intervention.

 

PHILIPPINE TAXWOMAN GOES AFTER THE BIG FISH: MANNY PACQUIAO AND ROSE FOSTANES

L-R: Pacquiao, Fostanes, Henares
L-R: Pacquiao, Fostanes, Henares

Manila, Philippines – Got money? Watch out,  Kim Henares will go after you.

Henares is the commissioner of the Philippines’ Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR), the counterpart of the U.S. Internal Revenue Service (IRS).  She has gained the reputation of going after the big fish – Filipinos like world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao and newly-crowned X Factor Israel winner Rose Fostanes. Henares wants a chunk of their earnings abroad.

Analysts say that Henares’ actions are a desperate attempt to  save her tax agency from bankruptcy. The BIR, which many Filipinos consider among the most corrupt agencies, continues to face declining revenues due to  widespread tax evasion schemes especially among the country’s richest tycoons.

However, The Adobo Chronicles learned that Pacquiao and Fostanes are joining hands to challenge Henares in court and prevent her from taxing their foreign earnings. In papers to be filed in court  today, Pacquiao and Fostanes claim that the BIR has no authority to collect taxes from their prize money earned in the U.S.  and Israel, respectively.

“That is why the agency is called Bureau of INTERNAL Revenue,” lawyers said, so earnings outside the Philippines should be off limits to  the tax agency.”

Makes perfect sense.