Tag Archives: Fastfood

MCDONALD’S NEW MENU ITEM: MCSUSHI

The new McSushi (Photo credit: The National Report)
The new McSushi (Photo credit: The National Report)

CHICAGO, Illinois (The Adobo Chronicles) – Faced with sagging sales and stiff competition from rival fastfood chains like In-N-Out Burger and Jollibee, McDonald’s announced today that it will be introducing a new menu item this spring. Here comes McSushi!

The fastfood giant is capitalizing on the growing popularity of this Japanese delicacy — raw fish slices served on top of a  tiny heap of vinegar-flavored rice. Sushi can be made with different kinds of raw fish, but McDonald’s chose the fatty salmon version.

McSushi will come in pairs, shaped like the McDonald’s famous ‘M’ arch, a brilliant marketing scheme that will remind consumers of the source of their healthy snack. The item will be priced at $2.99. Soy sauce is free but wasabi is extra at fifty cents per packet.

Consumers are already lovin’ it!

McSushi will be available in the U.S. beginning March 1. It will be introduced in Europe and Asia next summer.

FILIPINOS JUBILANT AS KRIS AQUINO ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT IN 2016

Kris Aquino
Kris Aquino

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Millions of Filipinos rejoiced and took to the streets this week to celebrate Kris Aquino’s announcement that she is retiring from show business in 2016.

Aquino, the younger sister of Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino, is often referred to as the “Queen of All Media,” and is the current host of several TV shows including “The Buzz” and “Aquino & Abunda Tonight.”

Now on her 18th year in show business, Aquino  — holding back her tears — said that she plans to buy a franchise of a popular fast food chain.  Many are speculating that she was referring to Jollibee.

Jeepney drivers were sounding their horns, office workers were throwing confetti from their high-rise offices, and children were dancing in the streets of Metro Manila upon hearing the news.
Even members of the national police and military were firing bullets into the air.

“For almost two decades now, we’ve been putting up with all her theatrics, scandals, missteps and revelations of her personal and love life. At last, her screeching voice will be gone from the airwaves,” said one jeepney driver as he turned down the volume of his stereo to talk to reporters.

In the past, Aquino had compared herself to Oprah Winfrey, and told American actor Andrew Garfield during an interview that her son’s local film “My Little Bossings,” was a bigger box office hit than the Hollywood movie “The Amazing Spider-Man – 2”

2016 is also the year when the term of President Aquino ends.  With Kris stepping down, will it be the end of the Aquino era? Or perhaps, the continuation of a political dynasty…

JOLLIBEE TOPS LIST OF CHAIN RESTAURANTS AMERICANS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF

jollibee-4Oak Brook, Illinois (The Adobo Chronicles) – A good number of Americans are quite familiar with adobo, lumpia and pancit, but most have not heard of Jollibee.  Is it a bird? Is it an insect? Is it a clown?

The answer is: none of the above. It is the fast food chain restaurant that continues to be the greatest threat to McDonald’s in the Philippines, and who knows, perhaps even in the international fast food market. Its menu includes favorites like chicken joy, (sweet) spaghetti, and burgers cooked Filipino-style. It also serves traditional Pinoy breakfasts like tapsilog, longsilog, and bangsilog.

A recent survey conducted by thrillist.com put Jollibee in the number one spot among international chain restaurants that Americans haven’t seen or heard of before. It ranked the best among food chains that originated in countries like Russia, Singapore, Germany, France, the U.K., Brazil and Japan.

CaptureUpon hearing of the survey, top executives at the McDonald’s headquarters in Illinois convened an emergency meeting to strategize on how to counter what they expect to be a sudden surge in the popularity of Jollibee in the U.S.

“We’ve pretty much given up trying to beat that fat, stupid, happy bee in the Philippines, but for it to threaten our business here in America is just not acceptable,” a spokesperson for McDonald’s said.

Gird up your loins. Jollibee may soon be coming to a mall or street corner near you.