CITING WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS, OBAMA ORDERS AIRSTRIKE AGAINST IRAQ

obamWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The United States launched an airstrike Friday against Islamic militants in northern Iraq, just hours after President Barack Obama authorized military action against this same country that was invaded by George W. Bush in 2003.

The Pentagon said two FA-18 fighter-attack planes dropped 500-pound, laser-guided munitions on a mobile artillery place near Irbil, the capital of the Kurdish region.The jets came from the USS George H.W. Bush, an aircraft carrier operating in the Persian Gulf, according to a Defense Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive military details.

Speaking to reporters minutes after the airstrike, Obama said the goal of today’s action was “to disarm Iraq of weapons of mass destruction and to free the Iraqi people,” using the exact same words by George W. Bush after the U.S. launched the now infamous “shock and awe” in Baghdad eleven years ago.

On October 21, 2011,  Obama announced that all US troops and trainers would leave Iraq by the end of the year, bringing the US mission in Iraq to an end. On December 15, 2011, US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta officially declared the Iraq War over, at a flag lowering ceremony in Baghdad.

“The U.S. has been having withdrawal symptoms since we officially ended the Iraq War three years ago,” Obama said.”We needed something that will keep our troops busy, so we decided to look for weapons of mass destruction which may have been hidden by the late Saddam Hussein in the mountains of Irbil. Besides, we need to keep up with our reputation as world police.”

When asked by a White House reporter what makes him think that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, Obama replied, “We saw credible evidence of WMDs using Google Maps which we then confirmed when we switched to satellite view using Google Earth.”

 

 

 

CASTRO DISTRICT RESIDENTS: ‘WHERE IS THE HOT COP OF CASTRO WHEN WE NEED HIM?’

'The Hot Cop of Castro" Photo credit: Steven Kyle Weller
‘The Hot Cop of Castro’ (Photo credit: Steven Kyle Weller)

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Three people were arrested early Thursday morning after a fight broke out at a club and escalated to a shooting in San Francisco’s Castro District, a police spokesman said.

The argument between a 38-year-old man and a group comprised of a 25-year-old woman and two men, ages 25 and 33, started at a club near 18th and Collingwood Street around 2:45 a.m., San Francisco police spokesman Officer Gordon Shyy said.

News of the unfortunate incident spread like wildfire among residents and business owners in the Castro and everyone was asking, “Where is the hot cop of Castro when we need him?”  They were, of course, referring to Chris Kohrs, the police officer  who has become one of the most recognized faces in the city and elsewhere after his photo while patrolling Castro Street  was posted on the Internet.  A Facebook fan page was subsequently set up in his honor.  To date, it has garnered over 50,000 ‘likes.’

A reporter from The Adobo Chronicles tried to walk Castro Street all day today in search of Kohrs in order to get his statement about this morning’s the fight and shooting.  The hot cop was nowhere to be found.

Indeed, where is the hot cop of Castro when we need him?

PHILIPPINE TOBACCO LAW PUT ON HOLD: GRAPHIC WARNING ON CIGARETTE PACKETS TOO GRAPHIC

Filipinos won't see similar graphics seen in this warning label on cigarette packs in Thailand.
Filipinos won’t see similar graphics seen in this warning label on cigarette packs in Thailand.

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – A new law requiring that graphic warnings showing the harmful effects of smoking be placed on all cigarette packs sold in the Philippines has been put on hold. The reason: Filipinos consider the graphic photos too graphic.

The new law, signed by President NoyNoy Aquino last July,  was supposed to be in effect this month, but it has been postponed until May of 2016, to the delight of the powerful tobacco-growing industry.

The proposed graphic warnings feature gruesome photographs of the ill effects of smoking, including skin and throat cancer as well as emaciated bodies of smokers.

Soon after the proposed graphic designs were made public, tobacco companies initiated a petition to put the new law on hold until less offensive, less repulsive and less nauseating photographs are used on cigarette packs.  The petition drew more than 1 Million signatures, prompting officials to suspend the law’s implementation.

In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles,  a spokesperson for the Inter-Agency Committee on Tobacco (IAC-T) said that the committee has decided to replace the graphic photos with a picture of President Aquino smoking a cigarette. “Because of the growing unpopularity of Aquino, having his photograph on cigarette packs would encourage smokers to quit while discouraging young kids from starting to smoke.”

The new graphic warning on cigarette packs won’t be rolled out until May of 2016, just weeks before the president’s  six-year term as president comes to an end. “That way, there will be no conflict of interest or impropriety when Aquino receives compensation and royalty from the tobacco companies for the use of his photograph,” the spokesperson said.

This will be the photo that will be used in the graphic warnings on cigarette packs:

Photo credit: ABS-CBN
Photo credit: ABS-CBN

 

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