Cairo, Egypt (The Adobo Chronicles) – A male bus driver went in for a urine test as part of a routine drug screening by his employer, the General Transport Authority in Egypt. The results came back positive, but not for illegal substance.
The man was totally shocked when the doctor told him, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”
Apparently, the man used urine sample he took from his wife earlier. He had no idea that his wife was two months pregnant.
Moral of the story: keep a pregnancy home test kit handy at all times, and use it before submitting yourself for drug testing. Especially if you’re male.
Burbank, California (The Adobo Chronicles)- It all started with a tweet. A snapshot of a handsome teenager bagging items at a Target store in Dallas was posted by a tickled fan and it immediately went viral. Alex, now popularly known as Alex From Target, could not believe the number of his Twitter followers went from about 144 to more than half a million in just a couple of days. He’s been working as cashier at Target for only three months.
It pays to be an Internet sensation. Alex From Target was recently a guest of The Ellen Show, where he received an iPad gift from the generous Ms. DeGeneres. But it doesn’t end there. Ellen was so impressed by the smart and witty sixteen-year-old that she offered him a job as cashier at The Ellen Shop in Burbank.
A minimum-wage earner at Target, Alex will now be working for twice as much at The Ellen Shop. He will henceforth be known as Alex At Ellen. Perhaps, a television career also awaits him?
Louisville, Kentucky (The Adobo Chronicles) – After two months of causing widespread panic among the American public, Ebola has finally been eradicated in the U.S.
This was announced today by Senator Mitch McConnell, the presumptive next Senate majority leader. The Kentucky senator defeated his Democratic rival in yesterday’s midterm elections, as did several other Republicans in various state contests. The Republican victory virtually put both the Senate and the House of Representatives under full control by the GOP.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed the first-ever case of Ebola diagnosed in America on September 30. The patient, Thomas Eric Duncan, came from Liberia and had remained in isolation at a hospital in Dallas, Texas for over a week. On the morning of October 8, he died.
Several other cases of nurses and doctors suspected to have been exposed to the Ebola virus after arriving from medical missions in West Africa prompted extreme measures by several states, including mandatory quarantine and active monitoring by the federal government.
Many Republican candidates campaigned on scare tactics and criticized the Obama administration for doing nothing or very little to combat the spread of the deadly virus in the U.S.
It turns out that “Ebola” was a code name used by Republican leaders to refer to their political strategy to gain full control of Congress in Tuesday’s elections. Choosing the code name worked perfectly for Republican candidates because it resulted in a “double entendre,” scaring many voters who believed that the Democrats were not doing enough to stop the spread of the virus. Exit polls confirmed that voters went for Republican candidates because of this.
As soon as the television networks and news media called the election in favor of a full Republican control of Congress, the GOP officially declared that Ebola has been eradicated in the U.S.– their election strategy code name, that is. With it came the eradication of Democrats in key states.
Cairo, Egypt (The Adobo Chronicles) – A male bus driver went in for a urine test as part of a routine drug screening by his employer, the General Transport Authority in Egypt. The results came back positive, but not for illegal substance.
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