Category Archives: Politics

MANILA AIMS TO BECOME THE FERRY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

imageManila, Philippines – From Chicago to San Francisco, from Hong Kong to Venice, water ferries are a popular mode of transportation for both business and pleasure. Manila wants to be known as the ferry capital of the world and is working very hard to earn that distinction.

This week, the Manila Metropolitan Development Authority (MMDA) unveiled a prototype ferry that would transport passengers from one end of the polluted Pasig River to the other, and it is living up to the Philippine tourism meme of “It’s More Fun In the Philippines.”

The prototype ferry consists of a steel barge lined with used rubber tires and on it sits a yellow dilapidated mini-bus that once traversed the traffic-ridden streets of the Philippine metropolis.  “The Pasig River ferry boat will be like no other in the world,” and MMDA official said. “It is not only a ferry boat, it is also a bus,” he added.

The new ferry boats will start operating sometime in April this year and passengers will be charged 80 Pesos (roughly $2) each way.

Instead of life jackets, passengers will be handed disposable face masks in order to protect them from the stench of the polluted river.

Responding to media questions, MMDA said that the new ferry system will not contribute to further polluting the river since the boats will not be using regular gasoline to operate.  Instead, the boats will run on lambanog, a popular local wine made from coconut.  Because of its potency, the lambanog “fuel” has the potential to kill bacteria and viruses that may be clinging to debris floating in the river. “Quite ingenious,” commented one Manila commuter who says he is so sick of the daily traffic gridlock.

MMDA said there will be 5 ferries operating, each with a capacity of 40 passengers. This means a potential of 200 less commuters on Manila’s overcrowded buses and jeepneys each time the ferries run.

PHILIPPINE SENATE RENAMES PORK BARREL HEARINGS TO ‘SPAM TOCINO HEARINGS’

imageManila, Philippines –  Pork barrel has become a universally-accepted term for discretionary funds allocated to politicians to use for their local pet projects. But the term has a very bad reputation in the Philippines, thanks to a 10 Billion-peso scam that siphoned taxpayer money into fake non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and into the personal accounts of some business people and politicians.

The Philippine Senate is currently holding hearings to look into the alleged involvement of some of its members – Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Ramon Revilla, Jr. It has cast a not -so-favorable image for the entire Senate.

So, in an attempt to diffuse  the negative image brought forth by the pork barrel scandal, the Senate unanimously agreed to rename the Senate investigation to “Spam Tocino Hearings.” The idea came from Hormel Foods, U.S. manufacturer of Spam . Hormel recently came up with a limited edition of  its popular canned meat, capitalizing on the popular Filipino cured pork called tocino. 

Senate officials said that renaming the hearings would give their investigation some “stateside” flavor while promoting the ever popular Filipino breakfast fare tocino.

Filipino activists immediately criticized the Senate move, accusing the senators of whitewashing the investigation while perpetuating Filipino colonial mentality.

Incidentally, Spam Tocino is available on the Hormel Foods website for $3.00 a can plus shipping. Hormel can only ship to U.S. addresses.

PHILIPPINE POLITICIANS GIVE UP PORK BARREL FOR LENT

Philippine Cardinal Tagle administers ash to the Catholic faithful on Ash Wednesday (file photo)
Philippine Cardinal Tagle administers ash to the Catholic faithful on Ash Wednesday (file photo)

Manila, Philippines – In his message to the Filipino people on Ash Wednesday – the beginning of Lent – Philippine Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle admonished the Catholic faithful to “fast and abstain not to be slim and sexy, and be charitable not to be popular.”

Many Catholics abstain from eating meat for 40 days during Lent in the spirit of sacrifice.

Responding to the cardinal’s appeal,  Philippine legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives unanimously agreed to give up pork for the next 4o days – pork barrel, that is.

The decision by the politicians couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time in view of the current legislative investigation of the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scandal which has linked several legislators to the scam of siphoning taxpayer money into fake non-govenmental organizations (NGOs) and into the pockets of certain businessmen and elected officials.

It wasn’t clear whether the politicians’ “abstinence” from pork will automatically be rescinded come Easter Sunday, the end of the Lenten season.