WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The White House today apologized for a major blunder during a luncheon it hosted for members of the media. It was a pre-State of the Union Address gathering to provide legitimate journalists and TV news anchors with advance highlights of President Obama’s speech.
“We sincerely apologize. We meant to invite only people, not animals, and certainly not foxes, to the lunch,” White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said.
Two foxes were seated next to NBC’s Brian Williams, complete with place cards.
Adult Diaper-clad traffic enforcers in Manila during the visit of Pope Francis (Photo credit: When In Manila)
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – The City and County of San Francisco has learned a thing or two from the just-concluded visit of Pope Francis to the Philippines. One has to do with adult diapers.
During the Pope’s public appearances in Manila, police and traffic enforcers were required by the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) to wear adult diapers so that they didn’t have to leave their posts to answer the call of nature. The move ensured that there would be no unnecessary interruption in the performance of police and traffic duties. It was a way to effectively deal with a crowd of almost 6 Million and the lack of portable toilets.
San Francisco’s annual Pride parade and Folsom Street Fair attract hundreds of thousands of spectators, and police and traffic enforcers always end up short-handed. So, San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee, taking his cue from Manila, ordered the San Francisco Police Department to field diaper patrols during these two big events this year. Police officers will be required to wear adult diapers during their crowd control duties. The wearing of pants over the diapers would be optional, especially during the Folsom Fair.
Meanwhile, Scott Wiener, member of the Board of Supervisors representing the gay Castro District (District 8), said today he will be introducing a resolution to encourage participants and spectators for both the Pride Parade and Folsom Street Fair to also wear adult diapers. “This will greatly help with the lack of portable toilets during these big events and will save the city hundreds of thousands of dollars spent in renting these units,” Wiener said.
Portable toilets cost the city anywhere from $150-$200 per unit. Handicap portable toilets cost even more, ranging from $300-$500 per unit.
So if you’re planning to be at this year’s Pride Parade and Folsom Street Fair, go get your adult diapers now at Costco or Target while they’re on sale!
Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Forget Sony Pictures’ The Interview. There is a more talked-about interview in all of Asia, and the world.
Everybody knows that it takes more than an arm and a leg to score an exclusive, sit-down interview with Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino. But somebody did just that: Vice Ganda (Jose Marie Borja Viceral in real life).
Vice Ganda is a Filipino television host and actor best known for his stand-up routines, in which he uses observational comedy, situational irony and sarcasm in pertaining to Filipino culture and human sexuality. Many are wondering why Aquino agreed to be interviewed by a showbiz personality instead of any of the respected journalists and television anchors who have been trying so hard to interview the president.
The openly-gay Vice Ganda, who is a friend of the president’s sister Kris Aquino, sat down with the older Aquino in Malacanang Palace, the Philippine equivalent of the White House.
The Adobo Chronicles learned from very reliable sources that Vice Ganda scored the interview by agreeing to certain rules dictated by the president and Kris Aquino:
The interview will be conducted only in Tagalog, which is the President’s language choice when making speeches
There will be no questions about the pork barrel scam
There will be no questions about Aquino’s snub of actress Nora Aunor for National Artist
There will be no questions about the president’s political nemesis, former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who remains in hospital arrest
There will be no questions about Manila’s MRT (light railway) or traffic problems
There will be no questions about the recently-discovered luxury jail cells of drug lords at the New Bilibid Prison (National Penitentiary)
There will be no questions about where all the donated money for last year’s typhoon Yolanda relief went
Aquino will not be asked who he will be endorsing in the 2016 Philippine presidential elections
The president will not be asked about his love life (Aquino is a bachelor)
The president will need to take a break from the interview every 10 minutes so he can light up a cigarette.
All other questions are okay, but a list must be provided to the president 48 hours in advance. The taped interview will air on Vice Ganda’s regular TV show, with schedule to be announced.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The White House today apologized for a major blunder during a luncheon it hosted for members of the media. It was a pre-State of the Union Address gathering to provide legitimate journalists and TV news anchors with advance highlights of President Obama’s speech.
Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Forget Sony Pictures’ The Interview. There is a more talked-about interview in all of Asia, and the world.
The Adobo Chronicles 
You must be logged in to post a comment.