Category Archives: Law Enforcement

RUSSIA’S CRACKDOWN ON TRANSSEXUAL MOTORISTS AND OTHER INDIVIDUALS WITH ‘MENTAL DISORDERS’

Folsom Street Fair, left, and Carmen Carrera, right
Folsom Street Fair, left, and transgender reality TV personality Carmen Carrera, right

MOSCOW, Russia (The Adobo Chronicles) – Beginning this year, the state of California started issuing driver’s licenses to undocumented immigrants.  In Russia, the government started taking driver’s licenses away from transsexual and transgender motorists.

The Moscow government believes that transsexual and transgender people have mental disorders and should not be allowed to drive because they cause too many accidents.

In addition, Fetishism, exhibitionism and voyeurism are also included as “mental disorders” now barring people from driving.

In San Francisco, members of the transgender community, the leather community, BDSMs, exhibitionists, voyeurs and others who identify with certain fetishes — in short, those who attend the annual Folsom Street Fair — have vowed to boycott travel to Russia and promised to refrain from buying goods and services that have the Russian label on them.

This is not the first Russian boycott in San Francisco.  In 2013, when the Putin Government made “promoting non-traditional lifestyles” illegal, many gay bars in San Francisco and elsewhere boycotted Russian vodka.  That boycott quickly fizzled out mostly because the boycotted vodka that is sold in the West, Stoli, is made in Latvia, not Russia.

Mikhail Strakhov, a Russian psychiatric expert, told the BBC that the definition of “mental disorders” was too vague and some disorders would not affect a person’s ability to drive a car safely.

However, a Putin spokesperson said that transsexuals and transgenders cannot concentrate on their driving because their eyes are constantly wandering, looking out for cute Russian guys or gals on the road.  He added that exhibitionists can distract other drivers, while those with fetishes are always dreaming about their previous or next encounters. “The roads are just not safe if we allow these people to drive cars,” the spokesperson said.

ADULT DIAPERS IN SHORT SUPPLY AT WALMART, COSTCO AND OTHER U.S. OUTLETS

Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis' visit next week
Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis’ visit next week

When Pope Francis visits the Philippines next week, traffic enforcers won’t let the capital’s streets get gridlocked if they have to answer the call of nature. About 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the papal visit will be required to wear adult diapers, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) chairman, Francis Tolentino, said.

Tolentino also encouraged people , including priests, nuns, seminarians and the elderly who will wait for hours to see the pope to also wear diapers. He said that there won’t be enough portable toilets for the millions of people expected to see Pope Francis hold an open-air mass at the seaside Rizal Park on 18 January. “If you attend an event that will last for 24 hours, you cannot go around looking for a [portable toilet],” Tolentino said.

Our investigation confirmed that the MMDA purchased all available adult diaper supplies from the big box stores in the U.S. in order to meet the demand during the Pope’s visit.

Filipino Americans were also seen buying the adult diapers in bulk to send via Balikbayan Box (Tax-free shipping boxes) to their relatves planning to participate in the papal visit activities in Manila.

Unconfirmed reports also revealed that Pet stores are seeing a sudden increase in their sales for puppy training wee wee pads. Go figure.

PHILIPPINES VICE PRESIDENT WANTS TO CONVERT NATIONAL PENITENTIARY INTO PRESIDENTIAL PALACE

Facade of the New Bilibid Prison
Facade of the New Bilibid Prison

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Philippines’ National Penitentiary (New Bilibid Prison) in Metro Manila has been in the headlines recently after the Justice Department uncovered luxury prison cells occupied by incarcerated drug lords. Among other things, VIP (Very Important Prisoners) inmates had jacuzzis, sleep number beds, airconditioners, life-sized inflatable sex toys, even a recording studio.

Many have proposed that the goverment transfer the prison to an island surrounded by water, much like San Francisco’s famed Alcatraz prison.

Vice President Jejomar Binay, who continues to be the frontrunner among potential candidates for president in 2016, likes the idea of an island prison. So what does he want to do with the existing New Bilibid Prison building? He wants to convert it to a presidential palace to replace the existing one, Malacañang Palace.

“If I become president, I will relocate the presidential palace from its current location by the Pasig River to this historic and landmark prison building,” Binay said. “We don’t need to spend millions of pesos dismantling the luxury rooms and amenities at the New Bilibid Prison. We’ll spend less by just refurbishing the building and converting it to the new Malacañang,” he added.

The Vice President believes that relocating the presidential palace to the penitentiary will “bring the government closer to the people.”

“Besides, look at the facade of the building. It really looks like a castle and a palace,” Binay told reporters.