Category Archives: International

International, Language, Sports

MAJORITY OF AMERICAN FOOTBALL FANS CAN’T COUNT IN ROMAN NUMERALS

Leave a comment

bowlNew York, NY – With Super Bowl XLVIII just days away, the country’s leading poll organization, The Gallup Poll, released a new survey that showed Americans can’t find Yemen on the world map.  But that was not the most revealing result of the new poll. Part Two of the poll showed that Americans — football fans in particular — can’t count in Roman numerals.

There was only one multiple-choice question on the second part of the survey: “Which of the following Arabic numerals correspond to the Roman numerals XLVIII ?”  The choices were 28, 38, 48, 58 , 68, and “none of the above.”

Thirty percent of respondents answered 28; twenty five percent answered 38; fifteen percent answered 68, and ten percent answered 58.  Only 5% answered 48 which was the correct answer. The remaining fifteen percent answered “none of the above” because they didn’t know that the numbers 0123456789 were called “Arabic”numerals.  They thought that Arabic numerals referred to the special characters used in Yemen and the rest of the Arab world.

Upon learning of the poll results, the National Football League board of governors met in an emergency session to unanimously approve a resolution to change next year’s official Super Bowl name to “Super Bowl 49.”

Business, International, Law Enforcement, Politics

INDIA’S BRILLIANT IDEA FOR GUN-CONTROL

Leave a comment
The Pink Lady
The Pink Lady

New Delhi, India – India may just have found the solution towards gun control, and other countries are closely watching.

A gun company in this nation of 1.2 Billion people has just manufactured a gun designed for women: light, sleek and pink. The idea of a pink pistol came about as a result of increasing rape and violence against women. In its marketing campaign, the gun manufacturer says that “it is time women started carrying guns to protect themselves from rapists and attackers.”

Now, the Indian Parliament is considering passing a legislation that would ban the manufacture of all guns, except the pink pistol.  The measure is expected to reduce gun ownership among men who constitute 77 percent of all gun owners. The legislators believe that the pink pistol will discourage men who are much concerned about their “macho” image from purchasing this deadly weapon.

Under the proposed legislation, current gun owners will be given six months from the passage of the law to surrender their firearms or trade them in for pink pistols.

The American National Rifle Association (NRA) is reportedly very nervous about this Indian legislation and has mobilized its top lobbyists in Washington, D.C. to make sure that no such legislation is introduced in the U.S. Congress.

Film and TV, International, Law Enforcement, Music, The Media

ADOBO CHRONICLES RESPONDS TO LAWSUIT THREAT

1 Comment

imageCampbell, California- Today, The Adobo Chronicles  received a threatening email from someone claiming to be a representative of Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver who won the first season of X Factor Israel . “Ofer” threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our story on Fostanes’ winning the Israeli Lottery.

Here’s our response:

Dear Ofer,

Thank you for taking the time to read and react to our story about Rose Fostanes winning the Israeli Lottery.

At the outset, please know that we are a fan of Fostanes.  We have followed her path from being a caregiver to becoming the Filipino Susan Boyle. Filipinos the world over are truly proud of her, as are we.

We were pissed when we first learned that Fostanes could not be paid as a performer/singer in Israel because her work permit only allowed her to earn income from being a caregiver.  We rejoiced when the Israeli goverment bent its rules and allowed Fostanes to get paid for her recording contracts and concerts going forward. We even think The Adobo Chronicles had something to do with the Israeli government’s change of heart (okay, that may be giving ourselves too much credit).

You claim to represent Fostanes and threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our published story. If you are indeed a legitimate representative of Fostanes, we say “bring it on!”

However we have a few requests:

1. Please read up on “satire ,” “parody” and FOI (do you even know what it stands for?)

2. Don’t just read our stories on Fostanes. Read our entire news site, especially the “About” page.  Maybe it will help you chill quite a bit.

3. Lastly, if you will be so kind as to mail us an “eraser” from Office Depot or Staples, we will be so ever appreciative because honestly, we stopped using erasers 20 years ago.

P.S. Have you ever considered joining the Spelling Bee?  Or just install autocorrect on the DOS program on your computer for heavens sake.

Affectionately,

The Adobo Chronicles Editorial Board