Category Archives: Business

Business, Human Interest, International, Language, Technology, The Media

FACEBOOK, TWITTER TO ELIMINATE HASHTAGS (#)

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A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill
A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Social media giants Facebook and Twitter jointly announced today that they are eliminating the use of hashtags (#) from all user accounts.

Hashtags are used before words and phrases to expand the reach of tweets and Facebook posts. They are also a way for netizens to determine what’s trending on the Internet.

The announcement came after the U.S. National Association of Schools and Universities (NASU) complained that the extensive use of hashtags is responsible for a decline in grammar efficiency among students, as well as in the national GPA average.

A spokesperson for NASU said that it is time to go back to the good old grammar school and to banish all the technological advances in messaging and communications, especially hashtags and abbreviations like ‘LOL’ and ‘LMAO.’

The Adobo Chronicles learned of the way in which Facebook and Twitter will eliminate hashtags:

Everytime someone types in a hashtag in a tweet or message, a central computer will immediately detect the character and automatically delete it.

There are rumors that Apple and Microsoft are considering eliminating the hashtag sign from their future computer and smart phone keyboards.

Business, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Sports, The Media

WASHINGTON REDSKINS UNVEILS NEW TEAM NAME

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Photo credit: dailysnark.com
Photo credit: dailysnark.com

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Just days after the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office cancelled six of its trademarks, the Washington Redskins announced today it was dropping its offensive team name in favor of a more politically -correct and patriotic brand.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office canceled the trademarks belonging to the football team on Wednesday, saying they are offensive to Native Americans.

Today’s announcement ends the emotional debate that has long plagued the team on and off the playing field.

In a hastily-called press conference, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Marc Snyder announced that effective immediately, his team will be known as the Red, White and Blue Eagles. “I don’t think there could be any other name more patriotic and politically- correct than this, ” he said, adding, “It’s time to end all debate. Let’s play ball!”

 

Arts, Business, Film and TV, Human Interest, International, Law Enforcement, The Media

ABERCROMBIE & FITCH HIRES SUSPECTED FELON TO BE SIGNATURE MODEL

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Jeremy Meeks' mugshot that instantly went viral on the Internet
Jeremy Meeks’ mugshot that instantly went viral on the Internet

Stockton, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Jeremy Meeks is exactly the kind of model the giant clothing company Abercrombie & Fitch is looking for : chiseled face, pale blue eyes, shaved head and tattoos.

For quite sometime now, A&F has not been successful in finding the right person to model its signature clothing line — or as some have pointed out — no-clothes line.  But Meeks is the perfect model that would appeal to A&F’s consumer demographics: young, hip, carefree, rebel.

There is one problem.  Meeks is a suspected felon whom the Stockton Police Department describes as “one of the most violent criminals in the Stockton area.” Meeks, along with other suspects, was arrested this week after a surge of robberies and shootings in the Weston Ranch area of Stockton.

Upon seeing Meeks’ mugshot which instantly went viral on the Internet,  A&F offered to pay the suspect’s bail and defense attorney’s fees, while having him on an exclusive high-paying contract to model its new summer bikini collection.

A&F is also planning to come out with a new line of orange jumpsuit, just like that worn by jail inmates. “Meeks is also the perfect model for this, ” an A&F spokesperson said, “even if he ends up being convicted and jailed.”