CNN RENAMES ITSELF, NOW CALLED CTNN

black holeAtlanta Georgia – In its desperate attempt to solve the mystery of the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, CNN has finally found its niche, and has decided to rename the network, once considered the leader in 24-hour cable news.

No other television news network has dared to espouse its own theories about what happened to the doomed flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. CNN had too much air time to fill with little to no information to go by, so its anchors and experts speculated on their own, saying that “God may have stolen the missing plane,” and used unconventional visual aids — like a toy plane — to make their case. In a recent news segment anchored by Don Lemon, CNN gathered a powerball group of experts (see photo)  to try to lend credibility to its latest theory:  the plane was swallowed by a black hole.

Since the network began its 24-hour coverage of Flight 370, CNN executives said that viewership has increased by  more than 100%, and they attributed it to the unconventional treatment of this mystery by its anchors and experts.

As of March 21, CNN’s new name will be CTNN – Cable Tabloid News Network.

POPE FRANCIS SAYS HE WILL VOTE FOR SINGING NUN ON ITALY’S ‘THE VOICE’

imageRome, Italy – This has all the trimmings of the classic 1966 movie, ‘The Singing Nun” except that it’s 2014, where reality TV shows like “The Voice” are dominating airwaves worldwide, including Italy.

The latest episode of ‘The Voice’ Italy featured a contestant who was a certified Catholic nun, rocking her way into the hearts of the judges, the live and television audience, and yes, even Pope Francis who announced he is going to vote for Sister Cristina Scuccia. Her rendition of Alicia Keys’ ‘No One’ captivated the entire country and beyond.

With the Pope’s endorsement and over 60 Million Catholics in Italy, Sister Cristina’s victory is almost assured.

Here’s a video clip of  the nun’s  surprising performance.

POLISH TOURIST WHO BLOGGED ABOUT FILIPINO STREET FOOD WILL NEVER GO HUNGRY AGAIN

imageManila, Philippines – Agness Walewinder and her male friend are tourists who travel the world on a food budget of $25 a day.  The Polish pair maintains an Internet blog in which they write about their experiences in the countries they have visited.

On March 17, Agness wrote about their trip in the Philippines and titled her piece, “I Would Rather Go Hungry Than Eat Filipino Food Again.” She has  since then added “Street” to the title after receiving angry emails from Filipinos.

Agness’ piece deplored the kind of Filipino street food they were served while traveling the country. She said that their pre-travel research got them all excited about Filipino cuisine like lechon, adobo, kare-kare and even balut. They got none of those, perhaps because they were looking in the wrong places. Agness posted photos of the kinds of food they were served, many of which not even Filipinos would recognize.

Many Filipinos found the piece highly offensive and flodded the pair’s website, etramping.com with irate comments. Some even invited the two back to the Philippines and offered to cook for them.

A group of Pinoys (slang for Filipino) went even further by putting together a balikbayan box to be shipped to the pair’s home in Poland.  The box was stuffed with a whole lechon (roasted pig), a huge tray of kare-kare (meat and vegetables in peanut sauce), a pot of freshly cooked chicken adobo (simmered in a mixture of soy sauce and vinegar) and a dozen balut (just Google it!). Since there was a little more room in the balikbayan box, the group even threw in a casserole of pinakbet (popular Ilocano dish of meat, seafood and vegetables cooked with shrimp paste).

Shipping of the box to Poland will take approximately 30-45 days.

“By the time the cooked food arrives, then Agness will truly experience street food ” the group said.