Yearly Archives: 2014

International, Language, Law Enforcement, Politics

AS NORTH KOREA MANDATES MEN’S HAIRCUT, PHILIPPINES ISSUES ‘TAGALOG ONLY’ RULE

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North Korea's Kim Jong Un, left, and the Philippines' NoyNoy Aquino
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, left, and the Philippines’ NoyNoy Aquino

Manila, Philippines – According to a new law recently passed in North Korea, all men are now required to sport the exact same haircut as President Kim Jong-un. Previously, men were given several choices of state-approved hairstyles. There is no change as far as women’s hairstyles are concerned.

Elsewhere in Asia, Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino has issued a new executive order mandating that all Filipinos speak only in Tagalog, the country’s national language. Aquino is known for always using Tagalog in his major speeches and press conferences. “Ang Tagalog ang siyang magdudulot ng pagkakaisa ng lahat ng Pilipino,” (Tagalog will bring about unity among all Filipinos) Aquino said as he announced the new executive order.

Filipinos with American and other foreign passports are exempted from the new rule.

Aquino tasked the Philippine National Police (PNP) to implement the order which provides for a fine of up to  five thousand pesos for the first offense, and six months in jail for each succeeding violation.

Any civilian who reports a violator to the police will receive 10% of the fine as reward and incentive.

 

Politics, Religion

MICHELE BACHMANN POISED TO SUCCEED THE LATE FRED PHELPS OF WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH

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Today's protest at the U.S. Supreme Court attended by Michele Bachmann (photo: The Adobo Chronicles)
Today’s protest at the U.S. Supreme Court attended by Michele Bachmann (photo: The Adobo Chronicles)

Washington, D.C. – The Adobo Chronicles chanced upon Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) just outside the Supreme Court today. Wearing a fur coat with a hood, she stood under the snow shower side by side with protesters who were in support of the Hobby Lobby contraception case being heard by the Supremes.

Observers have noticed that in rcecent days, Bachmann has been appearing on television and social media, advocating for a “return to the days of our founding fathers, when America was God’s favorite country.”

Bachmann told The Adobo Chronicles that the many problems facing America today are a result of too much  emphasis on women’s rights, gay rights and immigrant rights. “Our founding fathers were so much into Jesus that America was truly blessed,” she said.

Bachmann
Bachmann

It appears that Bachmann has been trying to be more visible after many months of hiatus. This, according to reliable sources, is in preparation for next week’s big announcement that Bachmann has been chosen by the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, to succeed its late founder and pastor Fred Phelps.

Bachman refused to confirm or deny her impending promotion, merely saying to reporters: “God bless you and God bless America.”

 

International, Language, Law Enforcement, Politics

UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS WITH COMMON AMERICAN SURNAMES TO BE GIVEN PRIORITY IN OBTAINING LEGAL STATUS

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imageWashington, D.C. – Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles  reported that the Republicans in Congress have finally agreed to support comprehensive immigration reform through a bill that would grant amnesty to the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants in the U.S.

Today, we have learned about additonal details of the almost identical bills in the Senate and the House of Representatives.

A key provision of the bills spells out who will be given priority in legalization or citizenship.

Undocumented immigrants whose last names correspond to the top 25 most common American surnames will be given priority in applying for a green card and eventual citizenship. The provision does not make any distinction among surnames acquired by birth, marriage or through court-approved petitions.

Hispanic, Latino, Chinese and Filipino immigration advocates immediately hailed the proposal considering that the list of top 25 most common American surnames includes : Garcia, Martinez, Rodriguez and Lee.