Tag Archives: White House

AMERICANS STUNNED TO LEARN THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS A WHITE PRESS SECRETARY

white press secWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Americans were stunned to learn today that its first Black president, Barack Obama has a white press secretary.

The revelation came in a photo released today by Business Insider, a US business and technology news website  based in New York City.  The photo showed press secretary Josh Earnest in a heated exchange with White House reporters over the issue of anonymous sources. The photo headline read, “White Press Secretary Faces Reporter Revolt After Criticizing Media At Briefing.”

“I always assumed that Obama’s press secretary was African American,” said an Obama supporter. “Reading today’s headline about the “White Press Secretary” came as a total shock to me.”

The White House declined to issue a statement saying that it does not comment on personnel issues.

 

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WHITE HOUSE RESPONDS TO JOAN RIVERS’ COMMENTS ABOUT BARACK AND MICHELLE OBAMA

Rivers
Rivers

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) –  Joan Rivers has joked that US president Barack Obama is gay, and his wife Michelle is transgender.

The notoriously controversial 81-year-old comedian officiated a surprise gay wedding at a book signing in New York City earlier this week, and was asked by a reporter for her thoughts on when the US will get its first gay or female president. She replied:  “We already have that with Obama, so let’s just calm down… and you know Michelle is a tranny.”

At a White House press briefing today, Press Secretary Josh Earnest was asked what the President and First Lady’s reaction was to Rivers’ comments.

Earnest told reporters: “As a matter of policy, we don’t comment on statements made by mummies.”

End of controversy.

 

OBAMAS HIRE FOREST WHITAKER FOR TOP WHITE HOUSE JOB

ForestWashington, D.C. – The White House announced today that President and Mrs. Obama have decided to hire Forest Whitaker to be the head butler for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Whitaker is the actor who played the role of real-life butler Eugene Allen who served eight American presidents in the Hollywood film by Lee Daniels.

The White House announcement came shortly after the nominations for the 2014 Golden Globes were announced by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA).  Many were shocked that Whitaker was not nominated for Best Actor.  In fact, the Lee Daniels’ film did not receive a single nomination.  Earlier, however, Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey and the ensemble cast of The Butler were nominated by the Screen Actors’ Guild (SAG) for its 2014 awards.

The Adobo Chronicles learned that Michelle Obama was so distressed by the Golden Globes’ snub of Whitaker that she pressured the president to offer the all-important White House job to the actor as a way of getting back at the HFPA.

Whitaker gladly accepted the offer, saying that he hopes to serve under another eight U.S. presidents.   The Obamas reportedly agreed to have Whitaker continue to make films as long as his film schedule doesn’t conflict with state banquets at The White House.