Hollywood, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Following the U.S. Government’s confirmation that North Korea was responsible for the cyber attack on Sony Pictures, Hollywood actor James Franco announced that he was changing his name, effectively immediately.
The attack on Sony, conducted by a group calling itself the Guardians of Peace, exposed a number of embarrassing emails between producers and top executives at the movie studio. The group said it was targeting Sony because of its film “The Interview,” a comedy about a pair of American journalists sent to assassinate North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.
Franco is one of the lead actors in the film. The other is Seth Rogen.
“I am changing my name for personal security reasons but also because I like the sound of “James Flacco,” Franco said. President Barack Obama referred to Franco as Flaccoat this morning’s White House press conference during which the president confirmed that the government of Kim Jong Un was responsible for the cyber attack against Sony.
Pyongyang, North Korea – Kim Jong-Un has been re-elected president of North Korea in a landslide victory that shocked even the young leader himself. After the (s)election in which only ‘yes’ votes were counted, Kim was reaffirmed as First Chairman of the powerful National Defence Commission by the country’s new rubber-stamp parliament, the Supreme People’s Assembly. The state-controlled Korean Central News Agency described the election as ‘the great jubilee in the nation’s history’ and told how parliament cheered as the result was announced.
Kim, in his acceptance speech, admitted he did not expect a 100% vote, especially after having executed his politically-powerful uncle last year and successfully disposed of 11 high-ranking government officials in the days just before the elections. He, however, attributed his victory to his much-publicized hangout with former American basketball star Dennis Rodman. The flamboyant and controversial player has visited Kim in Pyongyang twice in the last 12 months. The 29-year-old Korean leader is a die-hard basketball fan.
Sources close to Kim said that he has offered Rodman the position of foreign minister and concurrent North Korean ambassador to the United Nations. Kim said he is very impressed not only at Rodman’s basketball skills but his expertise in international diplomacy. Rodman is reportedly seriously considering Kim’s offer.
Pyongyang, North Korea – The world is just now learning about a two-week old new law in North Korea mandating that all men must sport the same hairstyle worn by their young leader – short on either side and long and fluffy on top.
Today, however, the North Korean president admitted that the inspiration behind his distinctive haircut comes from two young Western celebrities, one male and one female.
Pressed by reporters to name his inspiration, Kim Jong-un did not hesitate to reveal the two celebrities : Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus.
Sources close to Kim also said that the president is thinking of adding some facial accessories to complement his hairstyle : earrings and nose and lip rings, much like his idol Dennis Rodman. Korean men could be required to sport similar accessories in the future.