Tag Archives: Manila

MANILA’S INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT INSTALLS HEATERS BY MISTAKE

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – If you are planning to travel to the Philippines in the next  few months, be prepared for extreme hot temperatures when you land at Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) in Manila.

NAIA’s reputation as one of the worst airports in the world has been exacerbated by airconditioning problems in its terminals, with incoming and outgoing passengers describing the terminal as a dry sauna. So it was a welcome relief when the airport administration finally received the shipment of 36 airconditioning units it had ordered from Japan. With much fanfare, Angel Hornado, general manager of the Manila International Airport Authority, announced last week that the installation of the new units would begin and will be completed in three working days.

Like with all projects in the Philippines, a ribbon-cutting ceremony was scheduled Saturday to mark the official switching on of the new airconditioning units. Presidential sister, actress and television host Kris Aquino was invited as honored guest to cut the ribbon. “It’s quite an emotional moment for me,” she said.  NAIA was, of course, named after her dad who was assassinated at the same airport upon his return from exile during the Marcos years.

Then Hornado flashed a thumbs up to signal the switching on of the cooling units.  In less than 15 minutes, all units were functioning and guests and passengers could hear the soft humming of the fans that started to blow air into the sprawling, albeit crowded terminal.

But something was obviously terribly wrong. The new units were blowing hot air and they added to the already warm and humid temperature inside the terminal.

Immediately, an aide came rushing towards Hornado and whispered, “Sir, the units that were installed were actually heaters!”

Apparently, something was lost in translation when the airconditioning units were ordered from Japan.

For now, NAIA remains the hottest airport in the world.

 

 

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEED UPON LANDING AT NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The murdered Filipino opposition leader must be turning and twisting in his grave as the international airport named after him has gained the reputation as the worst in the world. Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) has been the subject of ridicule in recent months not only for overcrowding, confusing signage or lack thereof, clueless airport personnel, and most of all, non-functioning airconditioning units.

As of press time, new airconditioning units  have reportedly arrived but it is no guarantee that incoming and outgoing passengers will keep their cool.

As a stop-gap measure, the Philippines’ Airports Authority issued a travel advisory recommending the top ten things traveling passengers will need upon disembarkation:

1. Anahaw (wicker) fans. They’re relatively inexpensive. Foreigners can easily borrow these from their Filipino friends and neighbors. They are also sold at NAIA concession stands.

2. If you want to go high tech, you can purchase battery-operated personal fans from almost every mall in America and elsewhere.

3. Cotton towel, to wipe your sweat and keep you dry at all times, especially while in line at the immigration, customs and baggage claim areas.

4. Plastic spray bottle. Make sure to fill it up with water before de-planing. You will need to squirt some mist on your face every minute or so.

5. Deodorant. Be courteous to your fellow incoming passengers.

6. Perfume. Make it a Prada. Filipinos love designer stuff

7. Face mask. It will not only protect you from airborne viruses, but from the stench of sweat all around you.

8. Bikini top for women. Think of it as entering a dry sauna.  And make it Victoria’s Secret. Filipinos love designer stuff.

9. Bikini bottom for men. Make it Calvin Klein. Filipinos love designer stuff.

10. Ice-cold bottled water. Not just any bottled water. Make it a Fiji. Did we already mention Filipinos love designer stuff?

Mabuhay! Welcome to Manila, you know, the place novelist Dan Brown calls “the gates of hell.”

OBAMA’S KINDER, GENTLER WORDS FOR MANILA

Obama inspecting the honor  guard in Manila
Obama inspecting the honor guard in Manila

Manila, Philippines – Author Dan Brown, in his latest novel ‘Inferno’ called Manila the ‘Gates of Hell,’ but visiting U.S. President Barack Obama has much kinder, gentler words for the Philippine capital.

“I would rather call it the ‘Gates of Purgatory,’ since I just have a couple of days  to endure the city’s sweltering heat,” Obama said, soon after he inspected the honor guard during arrival ceremonies at Malacañang, the Philippine presidential palace.  Obama reviewed the troops under 93- degree weather, considered mild by Philippine standards.

Catholics believe that purgatory is the half-way or temporary place their souls go to after they die while they wait for St. Peter to open the gates of Heaven. During this interim period, the souls can atone for their sins with the help of prayers by their living relatives.

It remains to be seen whether Obama will still have the same kind words for Manila after he experiences the enormous traffic gridlock that’s part of everyday life in the metropolis.