Tag Archives: Facebook

BAY AREA’S MAGNITUDE 6.0 EARTHQUAKE ONLY A TEST, TWO TESTS IN FACT

imageSan Jose, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Thousands of Bay Area residents were awakened by a 6.0 magnitude earthquake at a little past 3 a.m. today. The quake was centered near American Canyon and was felt all the way from Napa Valley to South San Jose.

It turns out that the quake was a test. Only a test. It was a test of the structural integrity of the new span of the Bay Bridge which, months before it opened, was dodged with controversy and problems with faulty bolts. Many critics had questioned whether the  bridge would survive a strong earthquake. As of press time, it wasn’t clear who initiated the test.

But the other test was obviously initiated by the giant social media company based in Menlo Park – Facebook. It was a test of the new Emergency Facebook System designed to replace the aging Emergency Broadcast System. From all indications, the test was very successful, with Facebook friends alerting each other about the shaker, long before it was reported by radio and television stations.

Facebook is also reportedly working on a new app that would detect and measure the intensity of earthquakes. This may put personnel of the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) out of their jobs and they’re shaking and very nervous.

 

 

FACEBOOK WILL TAG STUPID STATEMENTS BY POLITICIANS IN ALL POSTS

satiretagMenlo Park, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Facebook this week announced that it’s experimenting with a tag that will mark sites such as the Onion, Clickhole, The Adobo Chronicles and Empire News as satire — and, hopefully, alert the millions of gullible people who share these sites as truth each week.

Under the new initiative, each satirical story posted on Facebook will have the “[satire]”  tag automatically placed before its headline.  For example this story you are reading will show up on your Facebook page as follows:

[Satire] Facebook Will Tag Stupid Statements By Politicians In All Posts

Today, the Menlo Park-based company unveiled a second initiative that will tag stupid comments by politicians that appear or are being shared in Facebook posts.

For example, you will see posts such as:

[Stupid] Sarah Palin Wants President Obama Impeached

or

[Stupid] Texas Governor Rick Perry Compares Homosexuality To Alcoholism

While reaction to the new tagging system was welcomed by many netizens, the more intelligent Facebook account holders criticized the tagging as an insult to their critical thinking and reading skills.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

 

FACEBOOK, TWITTER TO ELIMINATE HASHTAGS (#)

A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill
A restaurant menu board: hashtag overkill

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Social media giants Facebook and Twitter jointly announced today that they are eliminating the use of hashtags (#) from all user accounts.

Hashtags are used before words and phrases to expand the reach of tweets and Facebook posts. They are also a way for netizens to determine what’s trending on the Internet.

The announcement came after the U.S. National Association of Schools and Universities (NASU) complained that the extensive use of hashtags is responsible for a decline in grammar efficiency among students, as well as in the national GPA average.

A spokesperson for NASU said that it is time to go back to the good old grammar school and to banish all the technological advances in messaging and communications, especially hashtags and abbreviations like ‘LOL’ and ‘LMAO.’

The Adobo Chronicles learned of the way in which Facebook and Twitter will eliminate hashtags:

Everytime someone types in a hashtag in a tweet or message, a central computer will immediately detect the character and automatically delete it.

There are rumors that Apple and Microsoft are considering eliminating the hashtag sign from their future computer and smart phone keyboards.