Health & Medicine, International, Law Enforcement, Religion

ADULT DIAPERS IN SHORT SUPPLY AT WALMART, COSTCO AND OTHER U.S. OUTLETS

January 8, 2015 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis' visit next week — Philippine police try on adult diapers for size in preparation for Pope Francis’ visit next week

When Pope Francis visits the Philippines next week, traffic enforcers won’t let the capital’s streets get gridlocked if they have to answer the call of nature. About 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the papal visit will be required to wear adult diapers, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) chairman, Francis Tolentino, said.

Tolentino also encouraged people , including priests, nuns, seminarians and the elderly who will wait for hours to see the pope to also wear diapers. He said that there won’t be enough portable toilets for the millions of people expected to see Pope Francis hold an open-air mass at the seaside Rizal Park on 18 January. “If you attend an event that will last for 24 hours, you cannot go around looking for a [portable toilet],” Tolentino said.

Our investigation confirmed that the MMDA purchased all available adult diaper supplies from the big box stores in the U.S. in order to meet the demand during the Pope’s visit.

Filipino Americans were also seen buying the adult diapers in bulk to send via Balikbayan Box (Tax-free shipping boxes) to their relatves planning to participate in the papal visit activities in Manila.

Unconfirmed reports also revealed that Pet stores are seeing a sudden increase in their sales for puppy training wee wee pads. Go figure.

Film and TV, International, Military

U.S. NAVY DRONE CRASHES IN THE PHILIPPINES, SUSPECTED OF SPYING

January 7, 2015 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

drone LUCENA CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – An unmanned drone, believed to belong to the United States Navy, was found in the town of Patnanungan, Quezon Province in the Philippines on Sunday afternoon. It is suspected to have either malfunctioned or crashed in this tiny island facing the Pacific Ocean.

Both the Philippine military and the U.S. Embassy confirmed the discovery. The aerial target drone BQM-74E with serial number BQ55079 is now in the custody of Patnanungan police.

Lt. Gen. Gregorio Pio Catapang Jr., Chief of Staff of the Philippine Armed Forces accused the U.S. of spying but did not elaborate on what it was spying about.

However, Admiral Harry B. Harris, Jr., Commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, denied that the captured aircraft was a spy plane. He said when it crashed, the drone was on its way to take aerial photographs of the December 30, 2014 wedding of Philippine film stars Dindong Dantes and Marian Rivera.

Harris admitted being a die-hard fan of the two Filipino celebrities. “I was extremely disappointed that I didn’t get an invitation to the ‘royal wedding’ so the best I could do was to send an unmanned aircraft to capture some of the photoghraphic moments of their union,” Harris said.

High definition movie cameras were found inside the captured drone.

International, The Media

CNN TO AIR FINAL BROADCAST AT 5 P.M. ON JUNE 1, 2015 (VIDEO)

January 7, 2015 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – On June 1, 1980, at the launch of Ted Turner’s Cable News Network, the founder made a grandiose and specific promise about his newly created round-the-clock operation. “Barring satellite problems, we won’t be signing off until the world ends,” Turner declared. And in anticipation, he prepared a final video segment for the apocalypse.

“We’ll be on, and we will cover the end of the world, live, and that will be our last event. We’ll play the National Anthem only one time, on the first of June, and when the end of the world comes, we’ll play ‘Nearer My God To Thee’ before we sign off.”

Fast forward 34 years. The world continues to outlive CNN.

Suspecting that the world will probably never end, CNN has announced that at the strike of 5 p.m. Eastern time on June 1, 2015, the cable news network will air its final video — the same video that Turner taped 34 years ago. Then CNN will sign off for good.

Media critics are saying that CNN’s decision to go off the air permanently is its gracious way to deal with its increasing unpopularity and declining ratings. CNN has, of late, been ridiculed for its mediocre news coverage, clueless anchors, sensationalized reporting, pandering pundits and expert analysts and satire-like stories.

While the world will not end on June 1, 2015, CNN will.

Here’s the final video that will air when CNN signs off permanently: