POPE FRANCIS EXCOMMUNICATES PHILIPPINES SOCIAL WELFARE SECRETARY DINKY SOLIMAN

imageTHE VATICAN, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) –  As she wiped her tears, Philippines Social Welfare and Development Secretary Dinky Soliman finally admitted on Tuesday that she had homeless people rounded up to put Manila in order for the visit of Pope Francis last month.

Soliman testified at a hearing of the Senate committee on social justice, welfare and rural development that was called to investigate persistent reports that she rounded up homeless people and  street children, sending  them on a paid vacation for the duration of the papal visit. She explained that the 100 families, or 427 individuals, living along Roxas Boulevard that traverses the cities of Manila, Pasay and Paranaque were brought to Chateau Royale resort in Batangas, south of the capital. It cost the government 4.75 Million Pesos.

Upon learning of the admission, Pope Francis immediately signed a pastoral document excommunicating Soliman from the Catholic Church.  As per tradition, excommunication bars a Catholic individual from receiving or participating in church sacraments, including, but not limited to, receiving Holy Communion or a church burial.

“I visited the Philippines to be with the poor, homeless, sick and down-trodden,” Francis said, “and it is unconscionable  that they were hidden from me just so the government will look good.”

The Pope promised to return to Manila for a private visit later this year to be with the children and homeless who were rounded up and hidden by Soliman.

MISS U.S.A. LOST THE MISS UNIVERSE CROWN TO MISS COLOMBIA IN THE Q & A

Sanchez
Sanchez

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles) – In last Sunday’s Miss Universe Pageant held in Doral, Florida, Miss Colombia Paulina Vega beat 87 other contestants to win the coveted crown. Miss U.S.A. was first runner-up.  It all boiled down to the Q&A portion during which members of the celebrity panel of judges asked a question of the final five finalists.

Miss U.S.A. Nia Sanchez picked Filipino world champion boxer, and here is the full transcript of that nerve-wracking moment:

Pacquiao: “If you were given 30 seconds to deliver a message to a global terrorist, what would you say?”

Miss U.S.A. : If I happen to meet a global terrorist, I would not say a thing. I would just punch him in the face and hopefully knock him down like you do with your opponents in the boxing ring!”

The rest is history. Miss U.S.A. lost the crown to Miss Colombia.

VEGETARIANS AND CATHOLICS STUNNED BY NEW RESEARCH CONFIRMING THAT PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS

IMG_6326ST. LOUIS, Missouri (The Adobo Chronicles) – A new study from the University of Missouri confirms what botanists have long suspected: plants and vegetables have feelings just like humans and animals.

The research shows that plants can sense when they are being eaten and send out defense mechanisms to try to stop it from happening.

The study was carried out on thale cress, which is closely related to broccoli, kale, mustard greens, and other siblings of the brassica family and is popular for science experiments.

According to the research study, the thale cress produces mustard oils that are mildly toxic when eaten and sends them throughout its leaves to try to keep the predators away. The research also revealed that when the plants feel or hear “munching vibrations” from caterpillar and other plant-eating organisms, they send out extra mustard oils.

This new finding is greatly disturbing to vegans and vegetarians, most of whom practice this lifestyle because they cannot fathom the thought of animals being killed or butchered for food. “Now what alternative do we have if we can’t eat meat or vegetables,” said one practicing vegan living in San Francisco’s Haight District.

Meanwhile, Catholics around the globe are anxiously awaiting a pronouncement from Pope Francis, who, in just the last several weeks, said that all animals go to heaven.  The question they want answered by The Vatican is: do plants and vegetables go to heaven too?

 

 

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