(VIDEO) AMERICA RUNNING OUT OF WHITE MALE COMEDIANS FOR LATE-NIGHT SHOWS

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) –  It’s been a while since America has seen a black late-night show host in the person of Arsenio Hall (late 1980’s to mid 1990’s).

White male comedians and talk show hosts have dominated late nights on the boob tube.  But are they now a dying breed in America? Apparently so. They’re all retiring or moving on to something new — the likes of David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.  And the television networks are having a very hard time finding their replacements who are, well — male and white.

On Monday, Comedy Central announced that Trevor Noah, a biracial South African  will replace Jon Stewart as the new host of “The Daily Show” when the latter steps down later this year.

One can just imagine the shock with which White America learned of Stewart’s replacement. “Comedy Central is going nuts,” said one late-night TV redneck fan. “How dare they put someone on late night TV who looks like just 13% of the population?”

“He’s not even an American,” quipped another talk show enthusiast from Texas. (Nevermind that talk show hosts Craig Ferguson is Scottish and both James Cordon and John Oliver are Brits).

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Noah, left, and Wilmore

Noah will become the second black late-night show host when he takes over ‘The Daily Show,’ joining Larry Wilmore, who is also black, host of ‘The Nightly Show.’

As the British like to say, “Keep Calm” America, White is on the way out. Black is in. Can we all just get along?

NEXT ON INDIANA LEGISLATURE’S AGENDA: BAN BIRTH CONTROL PILLS

Indiana's State Capitol (Photo: www.history.com)
Indiana’s State Capitol (Photo: http://www.history.com)

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (The Adobo Chronicles) – Now that Governor Mike Pence has signed the legislation giving Indiana citizens the right to discriminate against gay men and women on the basis of religious belief, the Indiana State Legislature is busy preparing for its next major agenda: to ban birth control pills.

Oddly enough, the new proposed legislation is not based on religious belief. Rather, it is based on science and the environment!

As reported in The Washington Post, an alarming number of fish in rivers and oceans has been found to be gender-bending — making them unable to reproduce. This, according to scientists, will eventually wipe out the world’s supply of fish.

The culprit for this phenomenon? The birth control pill.

Flushed down toilets, poured down sinks and excreted in urine, a chemical component in the pill wafts into sewage systems and ends up in various waterways where it collects in fairly heavy doses. That’s where fish soak it up.

A recent survey by the U.S. Geological Survey found that fish exposed to a synthetic hormone called 17a-ethinylestradiol, or EE2, produced offspring that struggled to fertilize eggs. The grandchildren of the originally exposed fish suffered a 30 percent decrease in their fertilization rate.

Immediately after the news came out, the Republican members of Indiana’s Legislature convened a caucus to draft a bill that would totally ban birth control pills as a way to protect the fish population.

Governor Pence vowed to sign the bill as soon as it comes to his desk.

“This is no longer a matter of religious belief,” Pence said. “Rather, it is a matter of protecting the environment.”

“We’re not necessarily a fan of gender-bending,” Pence added.

INDIANA GOVERNOR BANS RAINBOW-COLORED EASTER EGGS

Pence (Photo: indystar.com)
Pence (Photo: indystar.com)

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (The Adobo Chronicles) – Emboldened by supporters after he signed a state legislation legalizing discrimination against gay men and women based on religious belief, Governor Mike Pence today issued an Executive Order in preparation for next week’s Easter celebration.

Executive Order 666 prohibits state and local government offices as well as vendors and contractors that receive government funding from holding Easter egg hunt gathering and activities that feature rainbow-colored eggs.

Banned in Indiana
Banned in Indiana

In issuing the order, Pence said ” We need to start promoting religious and moral values among our citizens while they are still young. We will not allow our young kids to be exposed to the moral propensity of the gay community. Having the gay colors in such a revered tradition during Easter is not appropriate for the children.”

Pence ordered the National Guard to monitor all Easter egg hunt activities within the state to make sure that eggs be painted only in one color of the organizer’s choice. Several colors on eggs that even slightly resemble the gay flag will be confiscated.

 

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