Lufthansa Unveils ‘New Normal’ Aircraft

BERLIN, Germany (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) – Airlines are among the most negatively affected by the Covid-9 pandemic, having lost significant amount of business resulting from travel restrictions if not outright country lockdowns.

Even as countries start to  lift the lockdowns and resume in and out travel, most airlines will continue to  feel the devastating effects of the coronavirus. Under the “new normal,” commercial aircraft would have to  limit passenger capacity in observance of physical distancing, in addition to a host of health and safety measures that they need to implement.

But Lufthansa has pioneered an innovative way to be back in business without having to cut the numer of paying passengers for their flights.

Germany’s largest airline has just unveiled a prototype of its new fleet that is three times the length of the Boeing 777 and can accommodate three times the number of passengers without violating established physical distancing protocols.

Indeed for Lufthansa, it’s business as usual under the new normal!

 

IATF To Quarantine Filipinos Aged 21-59

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Since the start of the Philippine governnment’s imposed community quarantine, Filipinos under 21 years old and senior citizens 60 and above have always been ordered to stay at home at all times. This, despite the subsequent easing down of the lockdowns from acronyms like ECQ to MECQ to GCQ to MGCQ.

Well, senior citizens are pushing back, arguing that they are being discriminated against based on their age, no matter that many of them are in prime health and are as strong as a bull.

Fearing serious backlash from its guidelines practically isolating seniors, the Inter-agency Task Force (IATF) in charge of promulgating Covid-19 policies, amended its latest resolution, turning the tables around.

For the remainder of the government lockdowns, the IATF is now ordering all Filipinos aged 21-59 to stay at home to give the chance to young people and senior citizens to also enjoy their freedom and Constitutional right of movement.

One senior citizen was overheard screaming, “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last.”

For seniors, no more GCQ. Just MLK!

Air Force One To Be Renamed Pegasus

WASHINGTON, D.C, (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – The White House has announced that Air Force One, the plane used by the president of the United States, will be renamed Pegasus, after the mythical winged divine horse which is one of the most recognized creatures in Greek mythology.

Why the change of heart?

Well, The Adobo Chronicles learned that Donald Trump was informed of a breaking news in the Philippines that Air Force One, Pegasus, and Heartbeat — three of the more popular nightclubs and karaoke lounges (KTV bars) in Metro Manila, have been closed for business, all victims of the continued lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Trump reportedly became suddenly attracted to the name Pegasus and so he directed his Armed Forces Chief of Staff to immediately implement the change.

Vice President Mike Spence, who is of course just a heartbeat away from the presidency, is now also considering changing the name of the vice presidential plane from Air Force Two to Heartbeat.

 

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