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GUEST EDITORIAL: JANET LIM NAPOLES, A LIVING SAINT?

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 By Roger Balanza

(This article originally appeared on http://durianburgdavao.wordpress.com. It is being reprinted here with permission)

Some time ago, pork scam queen Janet Napoles said there was a name that should not be in her Napolist of lawmakers who earned kickbacks from her PDAF (Priority Development Assistance Fund, or pork barrel) racket.

This was before she submitted to the Senate blue ribbon committee a sworn affidavit naming twenty senators and more than 100 congressmen.

An investigation is still ongoing in the thievery of public money involving P10 billion over a span of more than two decades.

We would not be surprised if at the end of the day the investigation would turn up with a list a mile longer than the Napolist of Napoles.

It would not shock us either if Janet would also backtrack from the sworn affidavit she submitted to the Senate where she named only 20 senators and just over a hundred congressmen.

So one of these days, we might hear Napoles saying this: “Ayyyy! Mali!! Hindi pala beinte lang yong mga senadores. Lahat pala. Ayyy! Mali!!! Hindi pala sandaan lang yong mga kongresman. Lahat pala sila! “(Ooops! My bad! It’s not only twenty senators. Rather, all of them! Ooops! My bad again! It’s not only 100 congressmen. Rather, all of them!)

Janet Napoles has been crucified over PDAF to the point that she has become a celebrity that even that thing between her legs is subjected to a lot of speculation.

But the Filipinos should thank the woman despite her sins. Without her, the massive plunder of the public coffer by no less than the highest officials of the land could not have been unearthed.

We believe that Napoles is not about Murphy’s law that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

We are tempted to think that the devil himself — shamed by the greed of gargantuan proportions above and over the limits of satanic depravity – sent Janet from hell to stop the plunder.

We are also inclined to believe Senator Miriam Santiago who said that the hand of God played in the filing at the Sandiganbayan of plunder raps over PDAF against senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla.

But we also think God did more than that. We believe that it was God who sent down Napoles to earth to save the Pinoys from plundering, rapacious crocodiles.

Napoles’ bombshells unearthed the biggest scandal in the country involving massive thievery by government officials that spanned nearly two decades!

The impact of her revelations made the Pinoys aware of the thievery, led to drastic changes on how the government should protect public money and sowed fear on crooks in both the government and private sectors who are planning future robberies.

Just imagine the billions of pesos that could now be protected from corrupt officials because of Napoles.

She had done what all the anti-graft bodies had not done all these years.

She should be a saint to Pinoys.

So how about calling the woman Santa Janet?

She can be the patron saint of whistleblowers.

 

 

CNN ANCHOR DON LEMON COMES OUT : ‘I AM A WHITE GAY BOY’

imageAtlanta, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) – CNN’s  loyal viewers will easily recognize Don Lemon, currently the most high-profile African American news anchor who is also openly gay. He has risen from weekend anchor to weeknight host of a new news – or is it opinion – program on the 24-hour cable news network.

It is no secret, however, that Lemon has been very critical of blacks in many of his opinionated  on-air rants: admonishing blacks to pull up their pants, to no longer use the word “nigga,” to finish high school, no more make babies out of wedlock, and to not resort to littering.  Three weeks ago, he told blacks to just “get out of the hood” to escape the violence and ongoing gang warfare. More recently, Lemon defended Justin Bieber’s racist comments against blacks and turned the heat back on the African American community, to the bewilderment of Lemon’s followers.

Well, today, television viewers found the answer to their dilemma.

As he concluded his broadcast tonight, Lemon said that he has decided to finally come out of the closet. “I’m gay, but everyone already knows that,” he said, with tears in his eyes. “I’m not what most of you think. I’m white, and if I offended anyone with my seemingly anti-black comments, I apologize,” he said.

Both the National Association of Black Journalists and the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association could not be reached for comment. The Adobo Chronicles kept on getting the outgoing voicemail message at the CNN newsroom.

There are rumors that Lemon is being courted by Fox News to join its prime-time news and pundit team.

 

SAN FRANCISCO TO STRAIGHTEN CROOKEDEST STREET

Sam Francisco's Crookedest Street
Sam Francisco’s Crookedest Street

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – A visit to San Francisco is never complete without photo opportunities by the Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower, TransAmerica Building, Alcatraz, Fisherman’s Wharf and of course, The Crookedest Street.

The famed Lombard Street section is famous for having a steep, one-block stretch that consists of eight tight hairpin turns. On either side of the street are homes that are probably among the top prized real estate in the City by the Bay.

Starting this summer, the city will close the street to weekend vehicular traffic in what it is calling an “experiment” to reduce congestion in the area and to provide the millionaire home owners a reprieve from the unending stream of vehicles navigating the brick pavement for the experience of a lifetime. (Apparently, many have not heard of Zigzag Road in the Philippines, leading up to the mountain city of Baguio).

Baguio City's Zigzag Road, Philippines
Baguio City’s Zigzag Road, Philippines

The Adobo Chronicles has obtained leaked documents from San Francisco’s City Hall that indicate the ‘experiment’ is actually a precursor to a more permanent plan to straighten the street to make room for homeowners to expand their existing real estate property. The city is poised to earn millions of dollars by selling part of the city street to the homeowners.

The documents also reveal an alternative plan – if the sale doesn’t work out – for the city to establish a toll gate at the top of the one-way street and charge each non-resident vehicle $10 to traverse the world’s crookedest street.

This plan could be up for a public vote as early as the next local elections.

Crooked or straight? Voters will decide. It could boil down to how straight and gay voters decide!